Some people think that they should spend money they earn now enjoying life, while others think that the money should be put into savings for future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sports activities are extremely important for the
countries
. Many people prefer to join competitive activities in order to
fun
Add a missing verb
have fun
show examples
and watch.
On the other hand
, if some
countries
host some football, basketball or tennis
Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
show examples
tournament
Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
show examples
a lot of people can come as a tourist.
Moreover
, they can contribute
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
economy. That's why
this
topic is very important for
countries
.
Besides
that, a lot of people are against
this
argument. Because, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
be host
Wrong verb form
hosts
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the competition, they need to spend a lot of money.
For instance
, if they hosting for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tournament, they have to build new stadiums or hotels. It will be very heavy for the country.
In addition
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
will spend time and money and they should pay big insurance for the employers.
Furthermore
, they may struggle
another
Change preposition
with another
show examples
problem.
Consequently
, these two arguments can provide advantages and disadvantages. Big tournaments can give income
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the country.
However
, at the same time, it might be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economy.
Submitted by ozanakbulutweb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are incomplete. Make sure to include a clear introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, as well as a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas and make your arguments more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial management
  • immediate gratification
  • experiences
  • memories
  • work-life balance
  • financial security
  • stability
  • unexpected emergencies
  • long-term goals
  • aspirations
  • personal preference
  • priorities
  • balanced financial plan
What to do next:
Look at other essays: