Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Currently, there is a debate about whether schools should only offer
subjects
that can help
students
’ future career success (i.e.,
subjects
such
as
sports
and
music
are irrelevant). As far as I am concerned, I believe
subjects
such
as
music
and
sports
are equally important. Compelling arguments can be made that those seemingly unimportant
subjects
such
as
art
,
music
and
sports
are actually just as important as core
subjects
like
English
and
maths
. The first point with respect to
this
is that
art
,
music
and
sports
make a student a well-rounded person. There is no denying that a young person who is artistic and athletic is
morelikely
Correct your spelling
more likely
to be physically and mentally healthy.
Furthermore
,
subjects
like
art
,
music
and
sportshelp
Correct your spelling
sports help
students
to identify their interests and hobbies early in life. True, if a young person is able to know what they are really passionate about, they can continue doing what they enjoy in their adult life. More importantly,
sports
,
art
and
music
help
students
strike a balance in their learning at school. Clearly, if
students
only study
English
and
maths
at school, their life will be very boring.It may be tempting to argue that
students
should focus on what makes them
morcessful
Correct your spelling
successful
in the future. The fundamental reason for
this
is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mainstream society defines “success” in a narrow-minded way. By that I mean most people believe that making more money is the only definition of success and they think learning
English
and
maths
helps them make more money. But
further
analysis would make it clear that being happy is probably way more important than having more wealth in the long term. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that
subjects
such
as
music
,
art
and
sports
should be taught in every school, apart from
subjects
like
English
and
maths
.
Submitted by alqanubizakiya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: