In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #people #food #animals #product #medicine

Nowadays, some people argue that we do not need to

use

animals

anymore for

food

, pharma and

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

industry

While

I believe that we still need to

use

animals

as a

food

source, it is not

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

use

them

for

Change preposition

show examples

produce products for medicine and clothing because of recent developments in synthetic biology. Our current

food

production

system mostly

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

farm

animals

and current animal

production

systems not sustainable. Because of

this

reason, the

industry

looking for alternative protein sources from microorganisms, insects, and plants.

However

, current alternative protein

production

methods from

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

resources

too

Add a missing verb

are too

show examples

costly.

Furthermore

, the

production

capacity

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

enough

for

Change preposition

show examples

supply

overall

demand. So, until find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

feasible way to produce

food

from alternative resources, we

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

depen

Correct your spelling

depend

on farm

animals

However

, after

breaktrough

Correct your spelling

breakthrough

developments in synthetic biology, we do not need to

use

animals

for medicine ingredients and

fashion

Correct article usage

the fashion

show examples

industry

. Different genetic engineering methods enable us to produce antibodies,

pain-killer

Correct your spelling

painkillers

show examples

and antibiotics from model organisms.

For example

, scientists can alter bacterial

genome

Fix the agreement mistake

genomes

show examples

to produce insulin that

previously

Add a missing verb

was previously

show examples

made by pigs and horses.

Moreover

, they can simply take a single skin stem cell from

cow

Correct article usage

a cow

show examples

and make

artificial

Correct article usage

an artificial

show examples

cell line with

mimicing

Correct your spelling

mimics

animal's

Correct article usage

the animal's

show examples

environment in

laboratory

Add an article

the laboratory

show examples

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

body

temprutare

Correct your spelling

temperature

, blood flow and carbon dioxide level. In that way, they can turn

this

cell line into the end product that can be used in the fashion

industry

. In conclusion, thanks to

improvement

Fix the agreement mistake

improvements

show examples

in life sciences, we do not need to

use

animals

in some industries but still need improvement in that field

for

Change preposition

show examples

expand

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

products in

food

Add an article

the food

show examples

industry

Submitted by airbender on Tue Oct 03 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: <4

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: <4

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, people are no longer necessary to use food from animals or product from animals such as medicine and clothing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people thinnk that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, howerver, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your opinion

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

Task 2:- Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time.What problems can this situation create?What are the possible solutions?