The bar chart shows the ammount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart shows global spending on these games in 2017.

#bar #ammount #games #usa #china

The bar

chart

illustrates the

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

spent on video games in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and

China

between 2010 to 2017, and the pie

chart

presents the worldwide spending on these games in 2017.

Overall

, in the bar

chart

USA

remained

Verb problem

maintained

show examples

a stable increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each year,

in contrast

China

had a significant difference between 2017 and 2010. In

pie

Add an article

a pie

the pie

show examples

chart

, Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

took the major part of the diagram, after that were

Console

Correct article usage

the Console

show examples

and PC.

USA

Correct article usage

The USA

show examples

had increased stable in

this

period, which was about 2

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

growth in each year. It used to be 18

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

in 2010, after 7 years, the cost became 28

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

which had a 3

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

difference between

China

In contrast

, the expense in

China

was 8

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

however

, the number surged to 27

billions

Change to singular

billion

show examples

in 2017. Mobile was the biggest global expense on video games, it took

two-fifth

Fix the agreement mistake

two-fifths

show examples

of the pie

chart

. After that was the Console and PC, the combination of these two portions was 58

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

which had a 16

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

difference

than

Change preposition

from

show examples

Mobile.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Tue Oct 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, china, billions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the ammount spent on digital games in the USA and China from 2010 to 2017 and the pie chart shows global spending on these games in 2017.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should tell: why you suggest helping this group how your company can help this group what the beneﬁts your company will in return for.

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain what sort of job you would like • say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?