Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #benefit #children #development #computer #games

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It is argued that outdoor

activities

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provide more benefits to

children

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's improvement than

computer

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games

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. Personally, I completely agree with

this

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notion. The following essay will explain my justification in detail. Admittedly, outdoor

activities

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promote physical health and fitness.

Children

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engaging in

activities

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such

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as running, climbing, playing sports and biking can develop stronger muscles and bones, better coordination and

improved

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an improved

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cardiovascular system.

Furthermore

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, regularly doing physical exercises stimulates metabolism, leading to weight loss.

This

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in turn helps young people combat childhood obesity and other blood diseases which have become prevalent these days.

In addition

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, participating in outdoor

activities

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encourages interactions and cooperation among players.

This

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is because when

children

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play outdoors, they tend to interact with their peers, learning how to communicate, negotiate and resolve conflict. These skills are crucial for building healthy relationships and functioning effectively in a wider world.

In contrast

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, playing

computer

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games

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poses several drawbacks to

children

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's well-being. When a child is addicted to digital

games

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, he or she can sit on a chair and stare at the

computer

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screen for hours. If

this

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situation continuously lasts for a long period of time, they are more likely to be isolated themselves and even get autistic.

This

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is evident in a statistical report from a Vietnamese educational institution which revealed that nearly 70% of young people get autistic

due to

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extensive exposure to video

games

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Additionally

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, teenagers who spend more time playing computerized

games

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may not have sufficient time for quality sleep, leading to sleep deprivation which trickles down to a poor health index. In conclusion, outdoor

activities

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provide youngsters with a holistic approach

for

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their development, encompassing mental, physical and social well-being.

While

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computer

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games

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can hold their place as a form of entertainment, they cannot replace the rich and diverse experiences that outdoor

activities

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can offer for a child's growth and improvement.

Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on Wed Oct 04 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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