IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students are asked to work short time without pay as a part of their education. Is this more of an advantage or a disadvantage to student and company ?

#students #work #time #part #education #advantage #student #company
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Nowadays, there is a great demand for candidates with prior
work
 experience, almost everywhere and for
this
 sole reason several educational institutions
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
show examples
 internship programs in their curriculum.
This
 essay will discuss the upsides and downsides of
students
 working without
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 for a
small
Correct word choice
short
show examples
 period of
time
 in accordance with their educational
institue
Correct your spelling
institution
.
To begin
 with, it is really advantageous for the youth to
work
 for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 during their
time
 in university in view of the fact that
this
 offers them various benefits,
such
 as hands-on
work
 experience,
networking
Correct word choice
and networking
show examples
 opportunities and they get to familiarize themselves with the working environment.
Students
 do not want to miss a chance which can boost their curriculum vitae and resume. For companies, it is a good opportunity to provide training periods from
time
 to
time
 as they might come across many promising candidates and they can offer them permanent positions.
Moreover
, it is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cheap labour for many firms as they are not obligated to pay salaries to
students
. Albeit, it can be disadvantageous
due to
 the fact that
work
 can become burdensome for
students
 and they might feel overwhelmed
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they are unable to manage their
time
accordingly
 with their
university's
Change noun form
university
show examples
 studies.
Furthermore
, in most
scenarios
Add a comma
,scenarios
show examples
students
 are not paid or they might get a meager salary compared to the
work
 they have to deal with which can be quite tiresome. If corporations are running
such
 schemes,
then
 they have to establish
dedicated
Correct article usage
a dedicated
show examples
 wing for
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
 and
this
 can cost them capital, labour and
time
.
To conclude
, there are several merits and demerits
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it comes to
such
 apprenticeship programs. But
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 benefits outweighs the disbenefits as candidates can get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
working
Correct article usage
a working
show examples
 environment
along with
 practical knowledge and companies might get to hire talented trainee and they don't want to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 that chance.
Submitted by Beebleei on

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coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly address the question.
coherence cohesion
Expand the conclusion to provide a stronger ending to the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are fully developed and explained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • internship
  • practical experience
  • hands-on learning
  • professional skills
  • networking opportunities
  • workplace environment
  • industry knowledge
  • resume
  • career prospects
  • financial burden
  • exploitation
  • cheap labor
  • ethical concerns
  • labor laws
  • fair compensation
What to do next:
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