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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #transport #city #streets #traffic #support
Traffic
 Jam is becoming a very concerning
problem
 to the worker community as various streets are packed with more autonomous
vehicle
 than people. Many are choosing to travel via public transport,
however
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
this
problem
 persists. In my opinion, a very effective way to resolve
this
problem
 is limiting private
vehicle
 ownership. The reason for taking
such
 an extreme step is to control the amount of private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 on the roads which is mainly causing the huge
traffic
 congestion. In
this
 generation, every household
own
Wrong verb form
owns
show examples
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
two
Change preposition
of two
show examples
 cars for their travelling purpose. If
this
 scenario continues to expand, it will be a difficult task to control
such
traffic
 situations. In many big
city
Change to a plural noun
cities
show examples
,
this
problem
 is causing people to suffer. A significant example is the Bangalore city of India which is
also
 known as the IT hub.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
 workers have to travel
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
show examples
 of 2
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
 to reach their destination. As travelling was becoming very
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
,
this
 city lost approx. 2 billion
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 every year in business as per the survey.
Hence
, establishing a limit on ownership of autonomous
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 per family is very crucial at
this
 moment. In conclusion,
although
 proponents travel via public transport, the best solution to minimize
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 is to limit private
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
This
 movement will ease the hazard of daily travelling experience from one place to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
. The government organizations must take significant initiative and execute the plan
accordingly
.
Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on

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task achievement
Make your main points more explicit and provide more detailed examples.
grammatical range accuracy
Try to vary your sentence structure and use a wider range of vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and that there is a clear flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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