Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celibrity #–such #film #sports #personality- #celebrity

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The line graphs illustrate how many

shops

Use synonyms

were opened and closed in a particular country over the period from 2011 to 2018.

Overall

Linking Words

, there was un downward trend with considerable fluctuations in both categories.

In addition

Linking Words

, the biggest

number

Use synonyms

of openings

experienced

Add a missing verb

was experienced

show examples

in 2011,

while

Linking Words

the lowest point in closures was hit in 2015. Looking into the details, the

number

Use synonyms

of closed stores increased from 2012 to 2013, reaching the highest point of above 7000.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, after

the

Correct article usage

show examples

slight decline for one

year

Add a comma

,year

show examples

the figures plunged to about 0 closures in 2015 and

then

Linking Words

sharply jumped to around 5000 in 2016. Over the subsequent 3 years, the

number

Use synonyms

of closed

shops

Use synonyms

approximately

leveled

Change the spelling

levelled

show examples

off with modest changes. When it comes to openings, during the first reviewed year their

number

Use synonyms

almost halved,

accounted

Wrong verb form

accounting

show examples

for below 4000

shops

Use synonyms

in 2012. The

greates

Correct your spelling

greatest

rise was witnessed from 2012 to 2014 when the figures gradually went up, making up approximately the same

number

Use synonyms

with closures at 6000

shops

Use synonyms

in 2014.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the trend of openings stabilized at

4000

Correct your spelling

4,000

shops

Use synonyms

from 2015 to 2017, decreasing by almost

1000

Correct your spelling

1,000

shops

Use synonyms

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2018.

Submitted by dkuraeva999 on Wed Oct 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion provide clear and comprehensive ideas related to the topic.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

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Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that woman should take part in the military or the police force, but other oppose to this idea. Discuss both views give your own opinion and examples.