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Band 3

Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celibrity #–such #film #sports #personality- #celebrity
The line graphs illustrate how many
shops
 were opened and closed in a particular country over the period from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
, there was un downward trend with considerable fluctuations in both categories.
In addition
, the biggest
number
 of openings
experienced
Add a missing verb
was experienced
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 in 2011,
while
 the lowest point in closures was hit in 2015. Looking into the details, the
number
 of closed stores increased from 2012 to 2013, reaching the highest point of above 7000.
Nevertheless
, after
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 slight decline for one
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 the figures plunged to about 0 closures in 2015 and
then
 sharply jumped to around 5000 in 2016. Over the subsequent 3 years, the
number
 of closed
shops
 approximately
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off with modest changes. When it comes to openings, during the first reviewed year their
number
 almost halved,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for below 4000
shops
 in 2012. The
greates
Correct your spelling
greatest
 rise was witnessed from 2012 to 2014 when the figures gradually went up, making up approximately the same
number
 with closures at 6000
shops
 in 2014.
Additionally
, the trend of openings stabilized at
4000
Correct your spelling
4,000
shops
 from 2015 to 2017, decreasing by almost
1000
Correct your spelling
1,000
shops
 by
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2018.
Submitted by dkuraeva999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion provide clear and comprehensive ideas related to the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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