Some people believe that modern technology has enhanced sociable behavior, but others think it has reduced social interactions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The unprecedented growth of social media use
bring
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brings
show examples
positive and negative outcomes to
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
life.
While
many people believe that
modernization
Correct article usage
the modernization
show examples
of
technology
led to
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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manners of society, others think that it causes decreased social
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will outline both views and explain why people tend to limit their social interactions
as a result
of the current developed
technology
. On the one hand, adults mostly began to get mobilized in their daily
life
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lives
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after the Coronavirus pandemic in 2020, which
resulting
Wrong verb form
resulted
show examples
in gathering and sharing their emotions online rather than
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
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.
In addition
, most of the community worked from home since
this
,
therefore
they
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapted to
this
situation.
For instance
, many companies offer an option whether employers are free to work from home or
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the office
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office
Correct article usage
the office
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, most of them are choosing to work from home sedentarily rather than office.
On the other hand
, common usage of
technology
, dominantly social media,
enable
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enables
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people to easily and conveniently communicate through their mobile phones all day long, which is the main reason
of
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for
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distracted attention and
asocialization
Correct your spelling
socialization
a socialization
. Even
tough
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though
show examples
, indeed it able pupils to
get
Verb problem
be
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more reachable, it
also
direct
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directs
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them
for talking
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to talk
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via applications
instead
of face-to-face interactions.
On the contrary
, there are students and adults
communicate
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who communicate
show examples
through Instagram
with
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by
show examples
only sending enjoyable videos to their friends. In conclusion,
latest
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the latest
show examples
technologies offer
ones
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one
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various opportunities to accomplish many tasks including communication, which lacks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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social interactions. If
community
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the community
a community
show examples
is willing to improve sociable
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
by using
technology
, they should strike a balance in between.
Submitted by airbender on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to provide a brief overview of the topic and state your opinion in the introduction. Similarly, summarize your main points and restate your opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
grammatical range accuracy
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and use appropriate vocabulary. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice.
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