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Band 5.5

In the past when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? you should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development #support #arguments #evidence
Since the world started to be a more cosmopolitan place, young people began to study abroad rather than in their own
country
 in order to exploit more opportunities.
This
 essay will outline how the brain drain affects the economy and the work fields of a
country
, but
also
 how
this
 is a powerful chance for students. Whilst acknowledging that there are drawbacks, the essay will argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, one of the reasons why some people disagree with the statement is that when young students decide to study in a foreign
country
, it represents the failure of the education system of their homeland.
Hence
, in ten years the native
country
 will have a lack of professionals who are crucial for the development of the economy,
such
 as engineers and scientists.
Furthermore
,
for instance
, in my motherland Italy,
this
 issue is a very topical problem and it led to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 desperate quest
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 doctors.
On the other hand
, the opposite view asserts that studying abroad is a golden chance for pupils, who live in a
country
 where all
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education opportunities are not always guaranteed.
Consequently
, they should be entitled to travel and learn somewhere else as a means to obtain a better job and inhabit a city with desirable living conditions. In conclusion, taking all the points into consideration I believe that everyone should be able to follow their dream where they can be realized. Yet, the government must reflect on the brain drain problem and find solutions,
such
 as improving the university environment and helping students
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
find their place in society with paid internships.
Submitted by valeria.pomante on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your ideas are supported with relevant examples and evidence.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced discussion by acknowledging and addressing counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow and organization of ideas in the essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, providing more specific details and examples.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Improve grammatical accuracy, particularly in sentence structure and word choice.
Lexical Resource
Diversify your vocabulary and use more precise and academic language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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