IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

#people #hours #time #leisure #activities
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People
Use synonyms
 need to
work
Use synonyms
 and earn money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sustain their
life
Use synonyms
 and to take care of their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will give some information about advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we might say that
people
Use synonyms
 must
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and family. That's why, they should spend
time
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 friends,
family
Correct word choice
and family
show examples
 and spend
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their leisure activities. Hardworking is
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 for
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 salary.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, if you
work
Use synonyms
 a lot you can take a good wage from your company.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it would be higher your
life
Use synonyms
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
.
This
Linking Words
is very complicate
Change the verb form
is very complicated
show examples
 situation for workers who are struggling with
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, governments have
an official rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
an official rule
official rules
show examples
 about
work
Use synonyms
 hours. If employers
make
Verb problem
put
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 staff, they need to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 like doing
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 for their
life
Use synonyms
 and
life
Use synonyms
standart
Correct your spelling
standards
. When workers take a spare
time
Use synonyms
 they will be more active and useful.
Moreover
Linking Words
, events help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 relieve stress and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outgoing
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 researchers,
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their place
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 avoid
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 information
gives to
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 us,
leisure
Correct word choice
that leisure
show examples
 is more important than
work
Use synonyms
. In summary, especially companies have to present
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 about
work
Use synonyms
 hours. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 long hours and
reasonable
Correct article usage
a reasonable
show examples
 salary.
In contrast
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 use their
cahce
Correct your spelling
cache
another options
Replace the adjective
another option
other options
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as free
time
Use synonyms
,
excersice
Correct your spelling
exercise
 or outreach events. It shows that we can not say any
spesicfic
Correct your spelling
specific
comment
Fix the agreement mistake
comments
show examples
 about
this
Linking Words
 situation. It depends on
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • financial gain
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • personal fulfillment
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social life
  • quality of life
  • neglect
  • leisure activities
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