IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

Nowadays, few individuals choose to forgo
meat
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 in their diet, thinking that
this
Linking Words
 will not only benefit their
health
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
confers
Correct subject-verb agreement
confer
show examples
 advantageous effects across the globe. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because these days
there
Correct your spelling
they are
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 made through fast breeding and can have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on our lives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is evident that consuming
meat
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 will
provide
Verb problem
meet
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nutritional
Correct article usage
the nutritional
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 needs
for
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings. It is because
fish
Use synonyms
 is rich in omega-3 fatty acids,
whereas
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
 has high contents of protein. Indeed, it can be challenging to get these nutrients from alternative sources.
For example
Linking Words
, many doctors suggest elderly people
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
take omega-3 food items for their well-being.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sellers are injecting steroids
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 and
meat
Use synonyms
 production.
In other words
Linking Words
, with the increase in population, the number of people who consume
meat
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
also
Linking Words
 grown, leading to more production of them.
Hence
Linking Words
, the farm workers are injecting steroids to make them grow quickly.
For instance
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, researchers said that by induced breeding they
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
 their minerals and nutrients and
also
Linking Words
 stated public can
detrimental
Add a missing verb
have detrimental
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 effects on the
health
Use synonyms
 of both
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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 and animals.
To sum up
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, I strongly agree that it is better to prioritize good
health
Use synonyms
over exposing
Correct your spelling
overexposing
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 ourselves to unnecessary
health
Use synonyms
 risks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by reducing
meat
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 consumption, we can potentially mitigate the negative impacts associated with excessive consumption of these products,
such
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 as
health
Use synonyms
 issues and environmental concerns.
This
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 reduction may contribute to a decrease in
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
 breeding of animals for food production, thereby yielding benefits for the global ecosystem as a whole.

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task achievement
Provide more examples and evidence to support your points.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
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