IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to solve world’s traffic and environmental problems is increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion?

#world’s #traffic #cost #fuel
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Nowadays, some
people
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 believe that the best
solution
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 to reduce the world's traffic is to increase the cost of
fuel
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. Personally, I believe that
this
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 is not a profitable
solution
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 and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, I think that even if the government increases the
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fuel's
Change noun form
fuel
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 cost, there are still many humans who can afford it and there will not be much change
at the end
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 of the day. Because the rich
people
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 who
needs
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need
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 to
use
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 their
cars
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, they don't care about how expensive the
fuel
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 is. So, there should be some other solutions to solve the environmental problems.
For instance
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, societies can encourage
people
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 to
use
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less
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fewer
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cars
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, by making bikes or public transport free of charge or at a very low price.
As a result
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, there will be less air pollution and the world's traffic can be solved
this
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 way.
Secondly
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, the other
solution
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 that can reduce the environmental problems is to increase the amount of hybrid
cars
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.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that
electrical
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electric
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cars
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 are so expensive and there
isn't
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aren't
show examples
 enough places that they can charge these kinds of
cars
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. So, it is obvious that government and car companies should reduce their price in order to encourage more
people
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 to
use
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 them. In conclusion, the increase
of
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in
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fuel's
Change noun form
fuel
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 is not a suitable
solution
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 and societies should encourage
people
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 to
use
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 more public transport or hybrid
cars
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instead
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 of their own
vehicle
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vehicles
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 in order to reduce the global warming effects and solve the environmental issues.
Submitted by parvane_ava on

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Task Achievement
Although the essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, it could benefit from providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The body paragraphs could be better organized by discussing one solution per paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate, but more variety could be introduced.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and sentence structure issues that could be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • carpooling
  • electric vehicles
  • sustainable transport
  • pollution
  • infrastructure
  • alternative modes of transportation
  • inequitable solution
  • inflation
  • multi-pronged approach
  • urban planning
  • commuting
  • dependence
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