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Band 4

Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #school #home
In
latest
Add an article
a latest
the latest
show examples
 thread of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
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 there is discussion around
efficiently
Change the word
efficient
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
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education
 via
TV
 at various places. Lack of exceptional teaching
way
 and low amount of information can be
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
such
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 to get knowledge. But in another hand, it can be quite simple to dive into a science field and explore new. First of all,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
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 age must get
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
education
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all areas and each of them
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to unique method of learning.
The television
Correct article usage
Television
show examples
 can give basic
education
, but it cannot guarantee
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
,
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
individually
Change the adverb
individual
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 coordination.
In
Change preposition
For
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 example,
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 may collect new knowledge faster than others. That will cause
getting
Wrong verb form
him to get
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 bored
for
Change preposition
apply
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him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In that
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 he wants
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
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 deeper.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
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 main argument is
low
Add an article
a low
the low
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 amount of information. Any
TV
 program has schedules and a limitation of time. In that
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 channels can not give
proper
Add an article
the proper
a proper
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 volume of theory, or they need to
compess
Correct your spelling
compress
compass
 fully, which can be misunderstandable for auditory. Opposite of
this
, books can give more variety of experience and they feel free to fill pages with any content. Specifical channels like Discovery,
BBC
Correct word choice
and BBC
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oriented
Add a missing verb
are oriented
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 to share wide knowledge around
chosen
Add an article
a chosen
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 topic. It can be good for learners. But
due to
 age
category
Add a comma
,category
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 they cannot
massively
Add a missing verb
be massively
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 involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educational
TV
 series.
Although
books
Change noun form
book's
books'
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 capacity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 information
comparable
Add a missing verb
is comparable
show examples
 with
there
Correct your spelling
their
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chanells
Correct your spelling
channels
,
Correct article usage
the scheduilg
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scheduilg
Correct your spelling
scheduling
schedule
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television can break interest. Despite of significant volume of
knowldege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 in
TV
 programs it has limitations in time and
lacked of
Wrong verb form
lacks
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 individual
coordication
Correct your spelling
coordination
. I believe watching
TV
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
supports
traditionally
Change the word
traditional
show examples
education
 and it can be helpful
while
 exploring new
horizonts
Correct your spelling
horizons
 of science.
Submitted by croownguuard on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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