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Band 5.5

With the increasing demand for energy oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

#demand #energy #oil #gas #people #sources #places #areas
Whilst some perspectives suggest that the damages done by mining in rural
areas
 are necessary
due to
 the incremental consumption of petrol and gas around the world, I personally believe there are more drawbacks than merits derived from
such
 trends. On the one hand, despite the human activities as
such
 could lead to some negative effects on the environment in rural regions, the proponents argue that it is crucial to ensure a stable supply of energy since it plays an important role in the daily life of human societies, including manufacturing, transportation, and health care systems. On top of that, people who live in remote
areas
 could benefit from more job opportunities and better construction in local
areas
. Take Australia as an example, Many towns in rural
areas
 are built around mining facilities.
On the other hand
, I personally agree that the downsides of human activities as
such
 should be more valued based on some reasons. First of all, it could provoke profound damage to the local environment, including air pollution and water pollution, which could not only endanger the health of local residents but
also
 cause the extinction of wild animals.
Secondly
, a higher production of traditional resources as gas and oil, could lower the interest of consumers in clean energies, since
such
 energies have more restrictions based on
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,
along
Correct word choice
and along
show examples
 with it, a lower production.
For instance
, solar power requires a big space to install the equipment
as well as
 a high
repairing
Replace the word
repair
show examples
 fee. To summarise, it is inevitable that looking for natural resources in remote regions could prompt several negative effects on local
areas
, even though, there are people arguing that enlarging the scale of mining has many advantages, I personally disagree with
such
 suggestions since the
irreversable
Correct your spelling
irreversible
 damages prompted by
such
 activities could
cauase
Correct your spelling
cause
 more disadvantages than advantages.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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