Travelling abroad is regarded as a valuable and good activity for young people, but some think it takes too much time and money. Discuss both view and give opinion.

#activity #people #think #time #money

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Youngters

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Youngsters

these days have so much exposure

about

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the world they live in and they are aware of many opportunities in it.Eventually, they want to travel around the world. Which they consider more precious and enjoyable to do.Few believe

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apply

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it may consume huge

time

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and

money

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, journeys to foreign countries have become inevitable because of the opportunities they provide, high paid jobs and

also

Linking Words

a chance to explore new

culture

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cultures

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and cuisine.

For instance

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, pursuing a

bachelors

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bachelor's

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in engineering

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show examples

renowed

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renowned

renewed

nation like

germany

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Germany

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could be more valuable and fills us with more modernized ideas and technologies .

Linking Words

Further more

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Furthermore

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, studying in

germany

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Germany

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offers us the chance to get into the top companies like BMW,TESLA and so on.

Consequently

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, we can get into a

high paid

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high-paying

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job as we

desired

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desire

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Moreover

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,going abroad is considered to be a good activity.Since

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apply

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we can explore a huge variety of cuisines and

also

Linking Words

accompany ourselves with

natives

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native

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culture.

Linking Words

Although

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However

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, doing

this

Linking Words

could consume more

time

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and

money

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In particular

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, before travelling to

the

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apply

show examples

foreign countries .We need to acquire some

skill

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skills

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like communication.In order to ,understand and speak and

learning

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learn

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this

Linking Words

could require so much

money

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and

time

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.Aside from that, the procedure that we need

finish

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to finish

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before entering a country could

also

Linking Words

consume huge

time

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and

money

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Linking Words

for

Capitalize word

For

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example, a person who

desire

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desires

show examples

to study in

germany

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Germany

show examples

needs to understand and speak with the

germans

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Germans

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Cause

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Because

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of that, we need to attend ielts training which

also

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needs more

money

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and

time

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In addition

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to that,for getting admission at

top ranked

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top-ranked

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universities ,we should frame a perfect resume and should buy an admission form.Even after getting

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apply

show examples

admission

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,admission

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we should acquire a visa, passport and a ticket for travelling through the sky.

To conclude

Linking Words

,journeys to foreign countries could make us

exciting

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excited

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and could change our

life

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lives

show examples

Although

Linking Words

, it

reuires

Correct your spelling

requires

a huge sum of

money

Use synonyms

Submitted by insighttribez on Thu Oct 05 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to address both views in a balanced manner. Present the arguments and counterarguments more clearly.

task achievement

Provide more examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more coherently. Use paragraphs to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

lexical resource

Use more varied vocabulary and expressions. Avoid repetition.

grammatical range and accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. There are some errors and awkward phrasing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

valuable experiences
broaden horizons
expose to different cultures
promote personal growth
independence
lifelong memories
friendships
time-consuming
costly
planning
preparation
research
transportation
accommodation
meals
learning opportunities
classroom setting
comfort zone
challenge

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Travelling abroad is regarded as a valuable and good activity for young people, but some think it takes too much time and money. Discuss both view and give opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe that the govemment should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe it is the individual's responsibility to protect themselves.' Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Write at least 250 words

Some people believe that only the Government can bring about significant changes in society while others believe that even an individual can have a lot of influence on society. What is your opinion on the above statement?

In today’s world, Technological devices are very familiar to students and they should have permission to use phones for learning purposes in order to perform better in school. I agree with this statement and this essay will contribute the facts to my agreement.

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?