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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
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It is obvious that there is a shift in working patterns when
people
Use synonyms
 decide to employ themselves
instead
Linking Words
 of working in a corporate environment. I will dive deeply into the reasons behind
this
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 trend and discuss some disadvantages along the way. It is undeniable that
people
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 choose to be self-employed for some compelling reasons. First of all, the fundamental reason for
this
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 tendency is a heavy workload, which is assumed to cause stress among blue collars. Having been working from 9 to 5, some
people
Use synonyms
 find very overwhelmed because there is still so much
work
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 that needs to be done. In comparison with freelance, they tend to control the amount of
work
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 at their own discretion. Another factor worth mentioning is that the toxic working environment is commonly attributed to causing workers to quit their jobs. Gossip colleagues or overdemanding bosses,
for instance
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, hardly contribute to a supportive or positive workplace culture, which has an adverse on employees’ mental health.
This
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 pales in comparison with being self-employed when workers can choose the
work
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 environment that boosts their productivity
while
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 being mentally healthy.
However
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, working as a freelancer has been disadvantageous to some extent. The first and foremost disadvantage could be that they have less long-lasting relationships with colleagues and bosses, who might become their friends in life outside of
work
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. In fact, freelancers tend to
work
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 on one-time projects so that there unlikely to form any close-knit ties with co-workers or leaders. As
such
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, their network becomes more and more narrower, which is not conducive to their career.
Furthermore
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, their collaborative skills might inevitably weaken. As most freelancers
work
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 online or remotely, they are deprived of face-to-face communication with co-workers, which leads to misleading information exchange in some cases. In conclusion,
while
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people
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 lean towards being self-employed for some valid reasons, they should take into account its demerits as to
this
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 decision.
Submitted by linhng28122001 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to the essay to give it a more organized structure.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons why people choose to be self-employed and provide more examples to support the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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