Parents, usually mothers, stay at home to look after their families. People believe that for this they should receive a salary from the government. Do you agree or disagree and why?

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Many individuals believe that the government should pay the
parents
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, especially mothers because they take
care
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of their families and kids and spend time with them at home. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement and give my opinions in a
further
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essay.
To begin
Linking Words
, one of the most significant reasons is the emotional bond between the
parents
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and their wards. To elaborate,
Parents
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do not
care
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about their loved ones for money and for any other essential things, which makes the relationship materialistic. They
care
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because they
love
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and are emotionally attached to them. It's the duty and right of every parent to
love
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and
care
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for their
children
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.
For instance
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, My
parents
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love
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and
care
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for me a lot without any expectations and things.
As a result
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, materialistic things may decrease the bond between the families and the individuals.
Furthermore
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, many poor people in the country
also
Linking Words
watch over their kinders. It is in the culture and the traditions of the country to respect elders and
love
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small ones. To explain
this
Linking Words
,
children
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learn what they see. If
parents
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love
Use synonyms
them and respect elders, they
also
Linking Words
do the same with their upcoming generation.
For example
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, I want to live
together with
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my
parents
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and want to fulfil their desires because I learnt all
this
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from them.
Hence
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, it develops the moral and ethical values in the
children
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.
Overall
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,
Although
Linking Words
it's a duty for
parents
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to look after their families and kids,
children
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should
also
Linking Words
respect and
love
Use synonyms
them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it creates a peaceful environment and people can live a happy life.
Submitted by maneethans32 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly stated. Make sure to clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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