There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that
school
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schools
show examples
should remove academic-unrelated courses
,
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apply
show examples
so that
students
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
focus on their studying and achieve academic success.
However
, I disagree with
this
idea.
This
is because there are many benefits for
student
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students
show examples
to participate
these
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in these
show examples
non-academic
subjects
.
Firstly
, when taking part in non-academic curriculums,
students
have opportunities to explore their interests and develop their expertise for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future employment.
For example
, some
individual
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individuals
show examples
might master cooking or sports, they could practice their skills in courses with
teacher's
Correct article usage
a teacher's
show examples
professional guidance
,
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apply
show examples
and would have more chances to participate in competitions, and
furthermore
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furthermore,
show examples
they might gain outstanding records on their resume. Second of all,
school
should be a place delivering knowledge for various youngsters,
instead
of restricting their thoughts and personal development. The reason is that everyone has different personalities and habits,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
will find themselves in different
subjects
.
On the other hand
, academic performance is not the only consequence
how
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of how
show examples
we value a person, especially for
young
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the young
show examples
generation who are still finding their way.
Besides
, participating in
interested
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interesting
show examples
activities and
subjects
could release their pressure by transferring their attention from academic work to other
subjects
, which would help them to feel relaxed and
feel joyfulness
Wrong verb form
joyful
show examples
. In conclusion, I do not agree with removing non-academic courses to let
students
only concentrate on academic work.
This
is because I believe that academic performance should not be the only thing the
school
and people care about.
Besides
, if so, it would restrict
students
to develop
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from developing
show examples
their talents and habits and they might find more stress at
school
,
due to
lacking
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a lack of
show examples
time to
be relax
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relax
show examples
and
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
enjoy themselves
show examples
.
Submitted by phoebejanzi on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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