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Band 5

Some people think that young people should be abitious. Others believe that it is fine if young people do not have big aims in life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #abitious #life
Many young
people
 have a
lot
 of things they want to do in their
life
 or their careers.
Also
 there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot
 of young
people
 who
firstly
 want to enjoy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
 without big
ambitious
Replace the word
ambitions
show examples
. I think that young
people
 should be
amitious
Correct your spelling
ambitious
 in their
life
.
However
, they should be good at school, to have good grades
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 after can study on some a good collage. If they are ambitious, they
porbably
Correct your spelling
probably
 would learn and work a
lot
. There are young
people
yho
Correct your spelling
who
 have big aims in
life
 and they want to be the best in competitions with some other young
people
. Some of them have
ambitious
Replace the word
ambitions
show examples
 in business, politics, sports, medicine and science.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are a
lot
 of young
people
 that
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 like
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
,
taste
Wrong verb form
tasting
show examples
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of food and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
 a
lot
 in many
partys
Correct your spelling
parties
parts
 and concerts. Particularly, if they have rich parents who afford them everything without complaining.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 some young
people
 think it is so
interesting
Correct article usage
an interesting
show examples
 and
wonderfull
Correct your spelling
wonderful
life
, despite they can feel empty and
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of day.
Therefore
 some young
people
 can feel depressed and think they are not good enough in their
life
. In my opinion, I believe that young
people
 should be ambitious and have
aimd
Correct your spelling
aimed
 their
life
.
Especialy
Correct your spelling
Especially
, if they
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after they can be successful at work in some
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
complany
Correct your spelling
company
. Many young
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 dream
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
 their own business and if they learn and work a
lot
 they can
successed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in it.
Submitted by nick.winsly on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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