It is recommended that traditional market be phased out and replaced by supermarket and e-commerce. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#market #supermarket #e-commerce

The public

associate

Fix the agreement mistake

associates

show examples

life with progress, regarding shopping, they believe street stores should operate

Change preposition

show examples

a larger scale like

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

or online shops.

Although

traditional and modern stores both have their own merits, I reckon

truning

Correct your spelling

turning

to modern

business

shceme

Correct your spelling

scheme

brings about more advantages.

Firstly

, change is inevitable and all businesses should

adopt

Correct your spelling

adapt

show examples

to the new world.

For example

, people from all walks of life, who have a hectic schedule, enjoy

truning

Correct your spelling

turning

to a supermarket

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

fulfills

Change the spelling

fulfils

show examples

all of their needs.

Moreover

, The new society is unlikely to allocate time for shopping around for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

simple

gerocery

Correct your spelling

grocery

shopping.

As a result

, all stores should stimulate

adoptation

Correct your spelling

adoption

to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life more convenient for the community. Since supermarkets and online shops, which are

accessable

Correct your spelling

accessible

all the time, can offer a vast range of goods, they are highly likely to be effective.

Secondly

due to

a cutting-throat competition among shops, migrating to the new form of

business

brings about financial benefits. For

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

, supermarkets and e-commerce pave the way for making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

collaboration with commodity providers. When it comes to

negotiatation

Correct your spelling

negotiation

negotiations

, thanks to their user base and cash flow, they have a competitive advantage to bargain with providers.

Therefore

, they can provide the public with a lower price for their items. Since the community is becoming money

consious

Correct your spelling

conscious

this

means a lot for the customers and brings more profit for the

business

. In conclusion, traditional markets must convert to

supermakets

Correct your spelling

supermarkets

and e-commerce. Not only

this

migration is a top-notch solution to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their customers' demands, but

also

this

is a second-to-none way to survive

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

competition in the

business

world.

Submitted by AUser on Fri Oct 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
With an increasing population communicating via the Internet and text-messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's contemporary world, there is a significant inclination of individuals towards excessive usage of internet and text messages for communication instead of physical face to face communication. These social networking chat platforms are highly addictive ,especially our younger generation is stuck with it everyday . Undoubtedly, this phenomenon is on the rise adversely affecting our society's way of socializing, this essay will examine the pro's and cons along with presenting opinion with real life instances and suggest some ways on how to control this.
5.5
band
You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do
I am writing this letter to bring to your notice that heating system is not working properly in my room in university hostel.
5.5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
In this modern epoch, it is always a debate topic whether people prefer to live in a flat or house around the world. Whereas some people prefer to live in houses, others feel living in an apartment has more benefits. Living in a house has more advantages than disadvantages; this essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
5
band
Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
Some people argue that having considerable wage is more important than being happy for their job. However, I disagree about that because of motivation and the demonstration of self-value from job satisfaction.
5
band
In some countries, university students live at home, while in other countries university students go to other cities rather than live with their family. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's interconnected world, the decision regarding whether to stay at home or venture to another city for university education is a pivotal one for many students. While both options offer unique advantages and challenges, I firmly believe that the benefits of living away from home outweigh the drawbacks.

It is recommended that traditional market be phased out and replaced by supermarket and e-commerce. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With an increasing population communicating via the Internet and text-messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

In some countries, university students live at home, while in other countries university students go to other cities rather than live with their family. Do you think the benefits of living away from home outweigh the disadvantages?