It is recommended that traditional market be phased out and replaced by supermarket and e-commerce. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#market #supermarket #e-commerce

The public

associate

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associates

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life with progress, regarding shopping, they believe street stores should operate

Change preposition

show examples

a larger scale like

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

or online shops.

Although

traditional and modern stores both have their own merits, I reckon

truning

Correct your spelling

turning

to modern

business

shceme

Correct your spelling

scheme

brings about more advantages.

Firstly

, change is inevitable and all businesses should

adopt

Correct your spelling

adapt

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to the new world.

For example

, people from all walks of life, who have a hectic schedule, enjoy

truning

Correct your spelling

turning

to a supermarket

where

Correct word choice

that

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fulfills

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fulfils

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all of their needs.

Moreover

, The new society is unlikely to allocate time for shopping around for

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apply

show examples

simple

gerocery

Correct your spelling

grocery

shopping.

As a result

, all stores should stimulate

adoptation

Correct your spelling

adoption

to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life more convenient for the community. Since supermarkets and online shops, which are

accessable

Correct your spelling

accessible

all the time, can offer a vast range of goods, they are highly likely to be effective.

Secondly

due to

a cutting-throat competition among shops, migrating to the new form of

business

brings about financial benefits. For

exmaple

Correct your spelling

example

, supermarkets and e-commerce pave the way for making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

collaboration with commodity providers. When it comes to

negotiatation

Correct your spelling

negotiation

negotiations

, thanks to their user base and cash flow, they have a competitive advantage to bargain with providers.

Therefore

, they can provide the public with a lower price for their items. Since the community is becoming money

consious

Correct your spelling

conscious

this

means a lot for the customers and brings more profit for the

business

. In conclusion, traditional markets must convert to

supermakets

Correct your spelling

supermarkets

and e-commerce. Not only

this

migration is a top-notch solution to

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their customers' demands, but

also

this

is a second-to-none way to survive

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

competition in the

business

world.

Submitted by AUser on Fri Oct 06 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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