IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

it is important for children to kearn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them kearn this dictinction. To what extent do to agree or disagree with this opinion? what short of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to yse to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #kearn #difference #right #age #punishment #dictinction #parents #teachers #yse #behaviour
In recent times, with the help of technology individuals do their
work
 on
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 without meeting any citizens. In my opinion,
this
 is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 development rather than
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 and my justification will come in
further
 paragraphs
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, with the help of
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
people
 can do multiple tasks and avoid contact with other
people
 which can save them lots of time, money as well and effort.
Additionally
, they become independent and do not rely on another
person
 in future.
For instance
, there are many types of
work
 in which individuals need help from other human beings like government
work
, daily life
work
, shopping and many more.
Moreover
, citizens can increase their
knowledge
 become experts in
this
 field and feel good in their lives. Meanwhile, they
need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
require time management and priority of
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 will be easily achieved with the help of their own
knowledge
.
Furthermore
, the public is more aware of any kind of fraud happening in their life
such
 as if
people
 rely on other individuals
then
 it increases crime rates.
However
, by doing some extra
work
 in their lives
people
 can easily avoid these types of hurdles.
On the other hand
,
people
 should not try any
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activities for which they do not have any guidance or proper
knowledge
such
 as only banking related
person
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 everything about banking and a particular
person
 of shop owners
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 the quality of the product and
pricetherefore
Correct your spelling
price therefore
price-therefore
people
 do not require to do
this
 type of task themselves. Eventually, they become indolent and
work
 perform in their
work
. To give an overview, citizens should do their daily tasks, shopping and some business-related
work
 and many more independence without any
person
's help
whereas
 they need full
knowledge
 of the
work
 and guidance in the related field.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: