Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
children
are extremely
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by
computer
games
and
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
graphics
games
. Mostly these
games
are played by high-school students and these
computer
games
contain
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
violent features and actions which effects directly
behaviour
of users. Even the parents of
children
are
also
worried
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
video
games
Change the noun form
game
show examples
habits. The most popular played video
games
are pubg, freefire, battleground, and many more. The content of these
games
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
mainly based on targeting your opponent and
to fight
Change the verb form
fighting
show examples
and
win
Wrong verb form
winning
show examples
the game. These types of
games
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
build so
much habit
Fix the agreement mistake
many habits
show examples
of playing
games
in teenagers and students so, that they
can
Verb problem
are
show examples
unable to quit playing. Constantly playing these
games
develope
Correct your spelling
develops
drastic emotional and
behaviour
Replace the word
behavioural
show examples
changes in
children
.
These transformation
Change the determiner
This transformation
These transformations
show examples
in
children
can be seen as resultant anxiety, low confidence, and most
important
Replace the word
importantly
show examples
violent
behaviour
. In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
violence
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
building in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
minds which is not only dangerous for themselves but
also
for society. These
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
thoughts slowly
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
transform into small acts and gradually these small acts
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
children
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
violent person. These
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of elements of society can transform living
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
into hell. I still remember, When I was in my highschool my so many calss mates used
play
Add the particle
to play
show examples
so many
computer
and
vidoe
Correct your spelling
video
games
which contained violence, and on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand I always used
play
Fix the infinitive
to play
show examples
realistic
games
like Ludo, chess, and many more. There was a drastic
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between my
behaviour
and my
class mates
Correct your spelling
classmates
show examples
behaviour
they
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
to
be act
Change the verb form
act
show examples
more
violent
Change the word
violently
show examples
all the time and I used
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
calm and gentle in every situation.
This
proves
who
Correct word choice
that
show examples
violent
contain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
computer
games
effects
Verb problem
affect
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
behaviour
and it could be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
for
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
in crime in major cities.
Submitted by khatrisumeet400 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical manner.
coherence cohesion
Explain the relationship between violent games and the increase in violence and crime more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and flow of the essay by using transition words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Use appropriate punctuation and capitalization throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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