Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

children

are extremely

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

computer

games

and

real world

Add a hyphen

real-world

show examples

graphics

games

. Mostly these

games

are played by high-school students and these

computer

games

contain

extreme

Change the word

extremely

show examples

violent features and actions which effects directly

behaviour

of users. Even the parents of

children

are

also

worried

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

video

games

Change the noun form

game

show examples

habits. The most popular played video

games

are pubg, freefire, battleground, and many more. The content of these

games

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

mainly based on targeting your opponent and

to fight

Change the verb form

fighting

show examples

and

win

Wrong verb form

winning

show examples

the game. These types of

games

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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build so

much habit

Fix the agreement mistake

many habits

show examples

of playing

games

in teenagers and students so, that they

can

Verb problem

are

show examples

unable to quit playing. Constantly playing these

games

develope

Correct your spelling

develops

drastic emotional and

behaviour

Replace the word

behavioural

show examples

changes in

children

These transformation

Change the determiner

This transformation

These transformations

show examples

children

can be seen as resultant anxiety, low confidence, and most

important

Replace the word

importantly

show examples

violent

behaviour

. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

violence

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

building in

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

minds which is not only dangerous for themselves but

also

for society. These

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

thoughts slowly

gets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

transform into small acts and gradually these small acts

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

children

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

violent person. These

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

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of elements of society can transform living

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

into hell. I still remember, When I was in my highschool my so many calss mates used

play

Add the particle

to play

show examples

so many

computer

and

vidoe

Correct your spelling

video

games

which contained violence, and on

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand I always used

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

realistic

games

like Ludo, chess, and many more. There was a drastic

different

Replace the word

difference

show examples

between my

behaviour

and my

class mates

Correct your spelling

classmates

show examples

behaviour

they

tend

Wrong verb form

tended

show examples

be act

Change the verb form

act

show examples

violent

Change the word

violently

show examples

all the time and I used

Add the particle

to be

show examples

calm and gentle in every situation.

This

proves

who

Correct word choice

that

show examples

violent

contain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

computer

games

effects

Verb problem

affect

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

behaviour

and it could be

reason

Add an article

the reason

a reason

show examples

for

Correct article usage

the increased

show examples

increased

Change the form of the verb

increase

show examples

in crime in major cities.

Submitted by khatrisumeet400 on Fri Oct 06 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more logical manner.

coherence cohesion

Explain the relationship between violent games and the increase in violence and crime more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Improve the coherence and flow of the essay by using transition words and phrases.

grammatical range accuracy

Use appropriate punctuation and capitalization throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

285 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.