IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals have been working extended
hours
Use synonyms
 compromising on their spare
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will evaluate the merits and de-merits of
this
Linking Words
 routine life followed by an opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the merits, people
work
Use synonyms
 long
hours
Use synonyms
 to make sure that the
work
Use synonyms
 they are engaged in is completed to the expected level of proficiency. Thereby, creating an opportunity for career advancements within the workplace and a possibility for a higher salary increment.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working long
hours
Use synonyms
 in relation to performing different job tasks at workplace, gives the opportunity to gain additional
work
Use synonyms
 experience.
Hence
Linking Words
, increasing demand for an individual in the corporate world as they progress in their career. For an example: - An individual employed in the finance division may
work
Use synonyms
 extended
hours
Use synonyms
 in another department
such
Linking Words
 as IT to gain additional experience,
this
Linking Words
 experience would allow the individual to develop a career in FinTech, which is highly rewarding in terms of monetary.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is always an opportunity cost with
this
Linking Words
 decision. In
this
Linking Words
 case, it is mostly the lost of leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, people will not have adequate
time
Use synonyms
 to be with their loved ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 road leads to a high level of stress and results in an increase level of sicknesses. For an instance: - A research report has shown that the life expectancy of a person is declining at a rapid rate because of the increased number of sicknesses that they are faced with.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly a result of working long
hours
Use synonyms
 and not having an adequate amount of rest
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, my opinion would be working long
hours
Use synonyms
 will have more advantages than disadvantages because earnings are a key factor in a person’s life journey.
However
Linking Words
, it is important to allocate enough
time
Use synonyms
 for rest and to do leisure activities as well.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and easy to follow. Each paragraph discusses a specific point and provides supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion in the essay, which is important for task completion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples, which adds to the clarity of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt and presents both the advantages and disadvantages of working long hours.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, with a clear opinion stated in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: