IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Digital communication technology, such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connection between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#communication #technology #email #instant #media #connection #people #answers
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Certain groups of individuals ponder that foreign travellers need to accept the local culture and rules of another country
while
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 other public opine that
tribe
Fix the agreement mistake
tribes
show examples
 should
allow
Wrong verb form
be allowed
show examples
 to ignore any cultural differences for strangers only. In my opinion,
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
show examples
 should follow the rule of thumb of other countries and my justification will come in
further
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 paragraphs
along with
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 some relative examples. To commence with, there are several pros of accepting the cultural diversity of other
democracy
Fix the agreement mistake
democracies
show examples
.
Firstly
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,
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 crowd find satisfaction and respect from the strangers after that they serve a high quality of service which most caller require.
For instance
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, if other countries wear Indian clothes
then
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 local society
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
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 esteem and happiness.
Secondly
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, there is increasing trust between the two countries in cultural exchange and business.
Thirdly
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,
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
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 can learn the host country's culture increase their knowledge and build strong friendships among themselves.
Furthermore
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,
native
Correct article usage
the native
show examples
 population provide them with cheaper hotels, houses, food and many more products very low price.
Moreover
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, the trust of the local government and local public increase which help to create a good environment.
On the other hand
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, there are many cons of allowing visitors to not accept their culture. They can find their comfort zone in
other state
Change the wording
another state
other states
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 as well and they can visit any place in future without any hurdles.
Additionally
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, they are not required to wear different clothes because they are not required to wear them. To give an overview, strangers need to adopt other nation's cultures and customs because
this
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 will help their nations
also
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.
However
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, local folk should provide them with all the facilities they need to require during their trip.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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Task Achievement
The essay does not directly address the given prompt. It focuses on the topic of accepting cultural differences, rather than discussing the extent to which digital communication technology has improved communication and connection between people.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization and coherence. The logical structure of the essay is weak, making it difficult to follow the writer's main points and arguments.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in language use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay has several grammatical errors and lacks consistency in verb tense and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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