IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#wealth #guarantee #happiness
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it is well known that to be rich does not give you
guarantee
Correct article usage
a guarantee
show examples
 for living
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
 life. there are many arguments about
this
Linking Words
 issue.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both opinions.  in
this
Linking Words
 life most
people
Use synonyms
 think they become happy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they will gain lots of
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
 is why most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 always try to work hard and to come
Change preposition
to higer
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higer
Correct your spelling
higher
 positions where they can be rich. they think that it will open new chances for them where it will make them happy.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it does not always finish with
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
 ending.
for example
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, I have seen so many
people
Use synonyms
 who never think about
money
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 and financial
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
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 but they have heavy health problems. you can buy material things with
money
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 but health is so important thing despite spending
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 sometimes it is beyond the reach of
people
Use synonyms
.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, parents should explain to their
children
Use synonyms
 from
childhoon
Correct your spelling
childhood
 that
value
Correct article usage
the value
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 of happiness does not depend on
money
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
 is why they should not purchase everything for them including toys and clothes.
moreover
Linking Words
, they should teach how kids can manage
money
Use synonyms
 from
early
Correct article usage
the early
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 years of school.
for example
Linking Words
, one time I read one of the
billioner
Correct your spelling
billionaire
billions
 famous
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
businessman
Change to a plural noun
businessmen
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 who talked about their
children
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. it was saying that he made his
children
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 work from school years in summertime. his
children
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 worked in fast food
restaraunt
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and gained their first
money
Use synonyms
. he claimed that after
first
Correct pronoun usage
their first
show examples
 salary they understood
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
. in conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 should not depend on
money
Use synonyms
. if they want they can make themselves hap[py in several ways.
Submitted by arzu.shahbazova1 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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