Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

Nowadays, the majority of
people
believe the important way to have
happiness
Replace the word
a happy
show examples
life is wealth.
While
others think,
happiness
can happen through activities in their life. Personally,
this
essay explores the way in which wealth can influence their
happiness
and shows alternative sources to gain
happiness
. there is undeniable evidence that money can contribute to
happiness
.
Firstly
, financial security is a significant method of initial
people
's needs
such
as housing, food, clothes and health care.
For instance
, the main reason for stress is financial problems which is an outcome of everyday life.
As a result
,
people
have awful mental health so there is a relationship between wealth and
happiness
hence
stress and anxiety can reduce and increase income.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some alternative methods
such
as helping others, spending time by themselves or with friends and their habits.
For example
, social connections and relationships can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging, which money alone cannot provide.
However
, personal growth and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
passion are the best roles in
happiness
and they can earn enjoyment and fulfilment by themself
to understand
Change preposition
by understanding
show examples
their values.
For instance
, some
people
passionate about a hobby or a cause discover immense joy and purpose in pursuing it.
Lastly
, volunteering is
interesting
Correct article usage
an interesting
show examples
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
way
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
people
can help
people
, animals,
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
to build
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
society. In conclusion,
happiness
is connected to
people
's lifestyles, family relationships and finances because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
modern society, some
people
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
Replace the word
happy
show examples
happiness
in achieving goals which means they can get the opportunity to discover
happiness
.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wealth
  • Affluence
  • Prosperity
  • Financial security
  • Opportunities
  • Options
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Helping others
  • Generosity
  • Philanthropy
  • Achieving goals
  • Realizing dreams
  • Peace of mind
  • Reduced stress
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