IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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In many
places
Add a comma
places,
show examples
 we may spend most of our lives in the same working place. And we can either stay with the company
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or
work
Use synonyms
 at the same organisation. Some
people
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 think that it's
benficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to stay
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 the same
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
.
While
Linking Words
 others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 believe it's better to change
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
 environment. Personally, I believe
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 better to join different
companies
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 will be more rewarding. The following essay will
elustrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 on both sides of the argument. There are many
companies
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 to choose seeking employment with them
,
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apply
show examples
 and working for different
companies
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 has helped many
people
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 in many ways. In the first place, working for
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 organizations will expose
people
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 to different environments.
This
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allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 them to grow
knowledge
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.
For instance
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, my uncle worked for three IT
companies
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 and now he's
consultant
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a consultant
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in
Change preposition
at
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 IBM.
This
Linking Words
 experience allowed him to achieve his goal.
Secondly
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, exposure to
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 working environment
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 more
chllenges
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challenges
,
this
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inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
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inhance
Correct your spelling
enhance
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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emplyee
Correct your spelling
employee
 skills.
Therefore
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,being able to
work
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 in
work
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 in different places
grant
Correct subject-verb agreement
grants
show examples
 you every time more
knowledge
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 and experience
amonge
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among
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 and interesting.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 prefer to
work
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same business for their entire life. Spending more time at the same corporation benefits
people
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 getting
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
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 and family health
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
For example
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, my brother
start
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starts
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 as a pharmacy technician with hmc medical and presently he is a senior
phamacist
Correct your spelling
pharmacist
 leading one of the
organization
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organization's
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 pharmacies.
Moreover
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,
its
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it's
it is
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 beneficial to maintain
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 working place because learning policies and company rules may take a lot of time to learn and implement,
for example
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, phcc corporation
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
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 to be the oldest in the
gulf
Capitalize word
Gulf
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 region and so
employee
Add an article
the employee
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 should maintain
knowledge
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 about policy for every inspection which is taking longer to
know
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know to
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 learn and to implement in their working space with
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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work
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.
To conclude
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, both situation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own benefits and drawbacks but I still maintain that spending our careers with
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
companies
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 will provide more
knowledge
Use synonyms
, experience and career
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
Submitted by a_nasron on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay clearly presents arguments for both sides of the argument and provides balanced analysis throughout.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments presented.
grammatical range accuracy
Check the grammar and syntax to ensure clearer and more accurate expression of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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