Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent year. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

#childhood #obesity #year #measures

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According to

today's conditions, most children play video games and watch TV, which makes them sit still for several hours,

this

can be a great risk to their health, and they can

also

suffer from being overweight, which can even prevent their activities.

also

, make it difficult for them on a daily

Correct your spelling

basis

basi

Correct your spelling

basis

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat Oct 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay shows a good logical structure, but it needs improvement in the introduction and conclusion. The main points are not well supported and need more development.

task achievement

The essay partially responds to the task, but it needs to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas with relevant examples to fully address the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

53 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalence
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional value
energy expenditure
genetic predisposition
unhealthy choices
screen time
dietary habits
educational programs
regulations
advertising restrictions
nutritional education
public health initiative
family history of obesity
health organizations

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Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent year. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Include an introduction and conclusion

An increasing number of professional, such as doctors an teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in develop countries. What problems does this cause? what can be done to deal with this situation?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v