MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #price #foods

Last

Correct article usage

The last

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researches

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research

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, parade marked

raising

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a rise

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in obesity rates in the world. Some thoughts assume that we could

reducing

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reduce

be reducing

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this

issue by

impose

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imposing

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higher

cost

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costs

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on unhealthy food.

However

, it's not a surefire way

also

Correct word choice

and also

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not fair. People who reap high remuneration don't care about

extra-taxes

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extra taxes

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as money

don't

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doesn't

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constitute any impediment for them, to illustrate, increasing fatten food few dollars is nothing for them.

Consequently

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Consequently,

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it could influence just

low income

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low-income

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people.

Moreover

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apply

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applying

such

solutions,

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apply

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will generate

a financial problems

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financial problems

a financial problem

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for

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apply

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numerous ventures

as well as

economic issues, because processed food

not

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is not

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only

important

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an important

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industry it is economic changer. so, huge companies in

this

sector

for

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, for

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example,

kfc

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KFC

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macdonald's

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mcdonald's

and

pizzahut

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Pizzahut

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, will not obey

this

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these

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measures. There is always another side to a coin. so for sure increasing

Correct article usage

the price

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price

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prices

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for

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show examples

processed products

such

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apply

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burger

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burgers

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, pizza and instant pasta, might regulate

this

phenomenon, because it will minimize the

desiring

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desire

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Change preposition

for

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such

products,

in other words

, it can change

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumer conduct.

also

Add a comma

also,

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this

extra levy could

use

Wrong verb form

be used

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in improving

Change preposition

to improve

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obesity health centers,

furthermore

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

conceived advertising companies to expand the knowledge about overweight matters. In conclusion,

although

levy

Wrong verb form

levying

show examples

more charges on fatten foods could manage the issue, it is not the optimal solution.

Thus

, we should

looking

Change the verb form

look

be looking

show examples

for other ways to cope with

this

matter.

Submitted by moaznashy123 on Sat Oct 07 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clear thesis statement that directly responds to the prompt. This will help to establish the focus of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas into paragraphs to improve the structure and coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Use more varied vocabulary and explore different options for expressing your ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Work on sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

219 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples