MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #price #foods

Last

Correct article usage

The last

show examples

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

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, parade marked

raising

Replace the word

a rise

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in obesity rates in the world. Some thoughts assume that we could

reducing

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reduce

be reducing

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this

issue by

impose

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imposing

show examples

higher

cost

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costs

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on unhealthy food.

However

, it's not a surefire way

also

Correct word choice

and also

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not fair. People who reap high remuneration don't care about

extra-taxes

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extra taxes

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as money

don't

Correct subject-verb agreement

doesn't

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constitute any impediment for them, to illustrate, increasing fatten food few dollars is nothing for them.

Consequently

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Consequently,

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it could influence just

low income

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low-income

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people.

Moreover

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apply

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applying

such

solutions,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will generate

a financial problems

Correct the article-noun agreement

financial problems

a financial problem

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for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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numerous ventures

as well as

economic issues, because processed food

not

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is not

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only

important

Correct article usage

an important

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industry it is economic changer. so, huge companies in

this

sector

for

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, for

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example,

kfc

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KFC

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macdonald's

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mcdonald's

and

pizzahut

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Pizzahut

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, will not obey

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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measures. There is always another side to a coin. so for sure increasing

Correct article usage

the price

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price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

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for

Change preposition

show examples

processed products

such

Remove the comma

apply

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burger

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burgers

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, pizza and instant pasta, might regulate

this

phenomenon, because it will minimize the

desiring

Replace the word

desire

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Change preposition

for

show examples

such

products,

in other words

, it can change

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumer conduct.

also

Add a comma

also,

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this

extra levy could

use

Wrong verb form

be used

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in improving

Change preposition

to improve

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obesity health centers,

furthermore

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

conceived advertising companies to expand the knowledge about overweight matters. In conclusion,

although

levy

Wrong verb form

levying

show examples

more charges on fatten foods could manage the issue, it is not the optimal solution.

Thus

, we should

looking

Change the verb form

look

be looking

show examples

for other ways to cope with

this

matter.

Submitted by moaznashy123 on Sat Oct 07 2023

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Provide a clear thesis statement that directly responds to the prompt. This will help to establish the focus of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas into paragraphs to improve the structure and coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Use more varied vocabulary and explore different options for expressing your ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Work on sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

219 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organiser of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organiser of the meeting and include Details about the meeting The problem you face What should be done

Some families have opted to teach their children at home. Why do you think this is? In your opinion, do you think that all children should be taught in a school environment? Say why you think home-schooling would not be a good idea and also point out some benefits for this chosen form of education.

Cities should be designed to be attractive for local people and foreign tourists. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important to take risks in both personal and professional life. Do you think that risk taking advantages outweighs the disadvantages?