MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY OVERWEIGHT. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE PRICE INCREASE OF FATTENING FOODS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Linking Words
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research

It seems that researches may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, parade marked
raising
Replace the word
a rise

The word raising doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
in obesity rates in the world. Some thoughts assume that we could
reducing
Change the verb form
reduce
be reducing

The verb reducing after the modal verb could does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue by
impose
Change the verb form
imposing

The verb impose may be in the wrong form after the preposition by. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
higher
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs

It seems that cost may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
on unhealthy food.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it's not a surefire way
Linking Words
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
not fair. People who reap high remuneration don't care about
extra-taxes
Correct your spelling
extra taxes

The word extra-taxes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
as money
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't

It seems that the verb do does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
constitute any impediment for them, to illustrate, increasing fatten food few dollars is nothing for them.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Consequently. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
it could influence just
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income

It appears that low income is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
people.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
applying
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

solutions,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
will generate
a financial problems
Correct the article-noun agreement
financial problems
a financial problem

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun problems in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun ventures in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
numerous ventures
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

economic issues, because processed food
not
Add a missing verb
is not

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
only
important
Correct article usage
an important

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
industry it is economic changer. so, huge companies in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sector
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
, for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
example,
kfc
Correct your spelling
KFC

The word kfc doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
,
macdonald's
Correct your spelling
mcdonald's

If you don’t want macdonald to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
pizzahut
Change the capitalization
Pizzahut

If you don’t want pizzahut to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

show examples
, will not obey
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
measures. There is always another side to a coin. so for sure increasing
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
Correct article usage
the price

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
processed products
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers

It seems that burger may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, pizza and instant pasta, might regulate
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon, because it will minimize the
desiring
Replace the word
desire

The word desiring doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

products,
in other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can change
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
consumer conduct.
Linking Words
Linking Words
also
Add a comma
also,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase also. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

extra levy could
use
Wrong verb form
be used

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb use. Consider changing it.

show examples
in improving
Change preposition
to improve

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
obesity health centers,
furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

make
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
conceived advertising companies to expand the knowledge about overweight matters. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

levy
Wrong verb form
levying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb levy. Consider changing it.

show examples
more charges on fatten foods could manage the issue, it is not the optimal solution.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we should
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking

The verb looking after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
for other ways to cope with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

matter.
Submitted by moaznashy123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement that directly responds to the prompt. This will help to establish the focus of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into paragraphs to improve the structure and coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and explore different options for expressing your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: