The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966,1986 and 2006

The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966,1986 and 2006
The above graph depicts the ratios of
first
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
childbirth mothers in Australia for different
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
in 1966, 1986 and 2006 respectively. It is
dlearly demonstarted
Correct your spelling
clearly demonstrated
that the
age
groups of first childbirth
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
varied
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
. It can be observed that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
trend of having babies in their teen years has changed over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
For instance
, in 1996 majority of women who have given birth were aged 19 to 24 which is 62%
while
a considerable amount of teenagers were included in the population.
This
was roughly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
under 19
Add a hyphen
under-19
show examples
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
.
However
, by 1986, half of
girls
Add an article
the girls
show examples
were 25 to 30 years and
19
Correct article usage
the 19
show examples
-24
cluster
Change to a plural noun
clusters
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
decreased to 37%. Still, it was the second highest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
.
Nevertheless
, in 2006 nearly 45% were aged 30-34 compared to 28% of
19
Correct article usage
the 19
show examples
-24 category. In comparison, the least popular motherhood
age
was over 40.
For example
, in 1966 it was at the lowest rate of 4% and in 1986 it continued declining to around 2%.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, in 2006 there was a slight growth of 40 and older
maternals
Correct your spelling
materials
maternal
yet it was as little as 5%. Ladies
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
34-39 displayed a significant uprise over the 40 years, starting from a percentage of 8% in 1966,
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
up to a rate of 15% in 1986 and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
to 30% in 2006.
Submitted by prarthana1r on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • first-time mothers
  • age bracket
  • fertility rate
  • childbearing age
  • socioeconomic factors
  • educational attainment
  • healthcare advancements
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • trend analysis
  • delaying motherhood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: