IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

#countries #people #accomodation #homes #place
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Human civilization nowadays thinks it is more convenient to live in a rental
house
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of buying a new one. Houses in the city tend to be more expensive
due to
Linking Words
 the high demand and developed infrastructure.
However
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, I believe both of the views above have advantages and disadvantages which will be explained below.
To begin
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, the number of poverty in developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 continues to rise. Many society especially students who live in another city prefer to settle their life in a flat or rented
house
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 a new one. There are several benefits to living in rented accommodation.
First,
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leasing a
house
Use synonyms
 or flat tends to be cheaper.
Second,
Linking Words
people do not need to pay for extra maintenance.
For instance
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,
due to
Linking Words
 the high number of criminals in West Papua, nomads especially women prefer to live in flats because it is safer and more comfortable.
On the contrary
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, for people who understand finance, rented accommodation is not a suitable choice for long-term investment. They believe it is more wasteful than buying a
house
Use synonyms
 or apartment.
For example
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,
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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 in Indonesia always advise youngsters to buy a
house
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 as soon as possible.
House
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 is one of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good investment because the price
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to increase each year.
To conclude
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, there are advantages and disadvantages of renting a place to stay. It depends on how people can gain benefits from every decision they make. Renting a
house
Use synonyms
 can be a choice for a short-term place to stay,
while
Linking Words
 buying a
house
Use synonyms
 or apartment is
lifetime
Add an article
a lifetime
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 investment.
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

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task response
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas and arguments.
grammatical range accuracy
Review the use of grammar and sentence structure for improved clarity.
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