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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#amount #money #week #foods #britain #trends #consumption #report #university #lecturer #information
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The bar chart illustrates the
amount
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 of
money
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 British
people
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 from different levels of
income
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 spent on fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, and the graph represents the trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of fast food
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1990. The fast foods mentioned in the graph are hamburgers,
fish
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 and
chips
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, and
pizza
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
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 who have low
income
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 the least
amount
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 of
money
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 almost every kind of food. It is very obvious that
people
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 having high
income
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their
money
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 on
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
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 the most, and it is more than
people
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 who have low
income
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pretty much
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. For
fish
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 and
chips
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,
people
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 who have
average
Correct article usage
an average
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income
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 surprisingly spent
money
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 on it
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
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income
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people
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 and even
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
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people
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.
However
Linking Words
, the difference is not much as average
income
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people
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 spent 25 pence per person per week, and
people
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 from
other level
Change the wording
another level
other levels
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 of
income
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 spent approximately 18 pence per person per week. For
pizza
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,
people
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 who have the most
income
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 spent 20 pence per person per week;
nonetheless
Linking Words
, it's just a bit higher than
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amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of
money
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 that
people
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 from the other level of
income
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 spent. Starting from 1970,
fish
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 and
chips
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 had the most
amount
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 of
consumption
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rate
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 at around 300 grammes
while
Linking Words
pizza
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 had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
consumption
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rate
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 at approximately only 50 grammes. For
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
, the
rate
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 of
consumption
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 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
fish
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 and
chips
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 and
pizza
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, but it constantly increased
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and ended up with the most
amount
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 of
consumption
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rate
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 at more than 500 grammes in 1990. Surprisingly,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
,
fish
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 and
chips
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 started with the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
consumption
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rate
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, it ended up
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 place.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, people, income, consumption, fish, chips, pizza, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Fast food
  • Income groups
  • High-income
  • Low-income
  • Medium-income
  • Hamburgers
  • Fried chicken
  • Fish & chips
  • Consumption
  • Trends
  • Significant increase
  • Decline
  • Popularity
  • Spending patterns
  • Consumption trends
  • Lifestyle
  • Preferences
  • Prices
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