IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#amount #money #week #foods #britain #trends #consumption #report #university #lecturer #information
The bar chart illustrates the
amount
 of
money
 British
people
 from different levels of
income
 spent on fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, and the graph represents the trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of fast food
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1990. The fast foods mentioned in the graph are hamburgers,
fish
 and
chips
, and
pizza
.
Overall
,
people
 who have low
income
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 the least
amount
 of
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 almost every kind of food. It is very obvious that
people
 having high
income
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their
money
 on
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 the most, and it is more than
people
 who have low
income
pretty much
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. For
fish
 and
chips
,
people
 who have
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
income
 surprisingly spent
money
 on it
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
low
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
income
people
 and even
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
people
.
However
, the difference is not much as average
income
people
 spent 25 pence per person per week, and
people
 from
other level
Change the wording
another level
other levels
show examples
 of
income
 spent approximately 18 pence per person per week. For
pizza
,
people
 who have the most
income
 spent 20 pence per person per week;
nonetheless
, it's just a bit higher than
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
money
 that
people
 from the other level of
income
 spent. Starting from 1970,
fish
 and
chips
 had the most
amount
 of
consumption
rate
 at around 300 grammes
while
pizza
 had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
consumption
rate
 at approximately only 50 grammes. For
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
, the
rate
 of
consumption
 is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
fish
 and
chips
 and
pizza
, but it constantly increased
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and ended up with the most
amount
 of
consumption
rate
 at more than 500 grammes in 1990. Surprisingly,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
,
fish
 and
chips
 started with the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
consumption
rate
, it ended up
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
 place.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, people, income, consumption, fish, chips, pizza, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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