IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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It is often said that a pleasant way to persuade
people
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 of various
cultures
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 and different age groups to gather is
music
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 view;
however
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, sometimes it depends on other
people
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's personal or national tastes. In terms of various
music
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styles
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 worldwide, many types are trendy among
people
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.
For instance
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, the BTS band is the most beloved and famous group, which is familiar to everybody, particularly among teenagers and youngsters, whether they are their fans or not. So that when the BTS holds a concert in every country, all kinds of
people
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 of all ages or
cultures
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 will be gathered together in that area.
Moreover
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, many singers or
music
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 constructors who are as famous as the mentioned group can bring all kinds of
people
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 together without noticing their ages, nationalities, or races.
Nevertheless
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, there would be many
music
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styles
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 that are exclusive and limited to only one group of
people
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.
Such
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 as traditional
music
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 that might not be attractive
for
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to
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 all
sort
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sorts
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 of
people
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.
Furthermore
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, many
styles
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 would belong to one particular country or culture, which could not be absorbed by other
cultures
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, which means they are based on individual tastes. Taking everything into consideration, many types of
music
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 are available to attract all kinds of
people
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 from different
cultures
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 and age groups.
However
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, other
styles
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 would be fascinating for limited manners. To
this
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 attitude, many more international
music
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styles
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 will emerge in the future that can absorb more
people
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 to bring them together.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your argument.
lexical resource
Consider using more diverse vocabulary to improve lexical resource.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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