IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many food are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

#food #people
In the modern day, the advancement of international trade
is allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 us to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 accessible to various raw materials of
food
 from across the world. Anyway, international shipment
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 a lot of
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
,
that is
 why it creates
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of pollution and it become one of the major issues
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 worse.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 having local
food
 ingredients is the better
way
 to
Add a missing verb
be reponsible
show examples
reponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. Personally, I agree with
this
statements
Fix the agreement mistake
statement
show examples
 and I am going to explain what are the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 controversy.
To begin
 with, the first advantage of domestic ingredient consumption is a direct
way
 to reduce the pollution from
oversea shipment
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas shipments
show examples
. Because of globalization, humankind
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to overconsume everything nowadays.
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 advantage is to reserve local
food
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
show examples
 and ingredient
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
, It is the ancient
way
 of life and
valunable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 culture. Many people in
this
 age tend to overlook local
food
 just because they
are thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that it is
out-to-date
Add an article
an out-to-date
the out-to-date
show examples
 thing or it is unquality, but in
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
, lots of local
ingredeints
Correct your spelling
ingredients
 are full of qualities and benefits for eating more than people know.
For example
, In Thailand, there
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 lots of vegetables which are a herb and
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 able to heal some symptoms, unfortunately, many people do not know and spend more money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 expensive imported
food
 materials
instead
. In conclusion, I believe that eating domestic foods
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 than
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 imported
food
.
Due to
 it is environment friendly and it is a
way
 to save
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
our world.
Moreover
, overconsumption that happening in the present is not only
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 but
also
 harmful environment.
Submitted by tah.siwakorn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: