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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
It is often held that free
time
activities
 have a significant influence on the life of the
children
.
While
 some people argue that
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
 that
organized
Add a missing verb
are organized
show examples
 by
parents
 are predominant in
shaping's
Change noun form
shaping
show examples
 a child's behaviour and future, others believe that
children
 have their own right to decide the
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 they do in their free
time
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
parents
 have
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
 and experience to decide what
activities
better
Add a missing verb
are better
show examples
 for their
children
.
Parents
 could set up playdates,
Correct word choice
and children
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 groups, or even
enrolling
Wrong verb form
enrol
show examples
 their
children
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 classes and extracurriculars
such
 as ballets, soccer, or pottery. In
this
 case,
parents
 could shape the
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
 of their
children
 and even explore
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
show examples
 of the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 personality is very malleable at
this
 age and choosing their own
activities
 could help them become decisive
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 very young age. Research shows
,
Correct word choice
that, ability
show examples
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
deciding
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 between choices from
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age would help
children
 to grow into leaders since they know what they want to do or not to do.
Children
 could
also
 learn about making boundaries, being
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
, and learning what consequences they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 from choosing their own
activities
. In my opinion,
children
's
activities
 in their free
time
, whether
decide
Change the form of the verb
decided
show examples
 by their
parents
 or not,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be supervised by
parents
 and families. In the era of digitalization,
children
 are
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy prey to harm and wicked
activities
. In conclusion,
children
 should be guarded by
parents
 and families whether their free
time
decided
Add a missing verb
is decided
show examples
 by
parents
 or choose it on their own.
Submitted by periset on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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