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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
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It is often held that free
time
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activities
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 have a significant influence on the life of the
children
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.
While
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 some people argue that
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
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 that
organized
Add a missing verb
are organized
show examples
 by
parents
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 are predominant in
shaping's
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shaping
show examples
 a child's behaviour and future, others believe that
children
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 have their own right to decide the
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 they do in their free
time
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. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
parents
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 have
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
 and experience to decide what
activities
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better
Add a missing verb
are better
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 for their
children
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.
Parents
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 could set up playdates,
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Correct word choice
and children
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children
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children's
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 groups, or even
enrolling
Wrong verb form
enrol
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 their
children
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to
Change preposition
on
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 classes and extracurriculars
such
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 as ballets, soccer, or pottery. In
this
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 case,
parents
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 could shape the
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
 of their
children
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 and even explore
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
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 of the
offsprings
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offspring
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.
On the other hand
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,
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children
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children's
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 personality is very malleable at
this
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 age and choosing their own
activities
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 could help them become decisive
since
Change preposition
from
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 very young age. Research shows
,
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that, ability
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Correct article usage
the ability
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ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 to
Wrong verb form
decide
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deciding
Wrong verb form
decide
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 between choices from
young
Correct article usage
a young
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 age would help
children
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 to grow into leaders since they know what they want to do or not to do.
Children
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 could
also
Linking Words
 learn about making boundaries, being
confidence
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confident
show examples
, and learning what consequences they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 from choosing their own
activities
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. In my opinion,
children
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's
activities
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 in their free
time
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, whether
decide
Change the form of the verb
decided
show examples
 by their
parents
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 or not,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be supervised by
parents
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 and families. In the era of digitalization,
children
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 are
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy prey to harm and wicked
activities
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. In conclusion,
children
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 should be guarded by
parents
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 and families whether their free
time
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decided
Add a missing verb
is decided
show examples
 by
parents
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 or choose it on their own.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
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