Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animal and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, people
hold
Wrong verb form
have held
show examples
conflicting views about whether authorities spend too much money and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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on protecting endangered
animals
and
birds
. I am convinced that the efforts the government uses for
this
purpose are sufficient and
this
essay serves to make it clear. First of all, the protection of wild
animals
and
birds
plays an important role in the future survival of
humans
. The research
of
Change preposition
on
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protecting
animals
brings several benefits, each kind of species has their own particular ability, which scientists can find out and research deeply if
this
ability has a superior potential in the living standard of
humans
such
as healthcare.
Hence
, the existence of these
animals
may be an anticipation for
humans
' future to avoid some disasters
such
as pandemics,
for instance
, when ice in Antarctica and the North Pole will melt and release several unknown ancient viruses or epidemics. To solve
this
risk, scientists can find new vaccines by carrying out many experiments with a diverse range of
animals
like the way these creatures respond to an epidemic or new vaccines before being used for
humans
.
Moreover
, the conservation of a wide range of
animals
is another way to protect biodiversity,
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
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habitats, and natural resources. Many daily activities of wild creatures have a vital correlation with the growth of special herbs or rare trees, which are used for several purposes
such
as medical materials.
For example
, simply, the relationship between bees and mints is win
to win
Verb problem
;
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, the daily activities of the bees stimulate flowers to grow rapidly with better quality, and a leaf of mints is a key element for sore throat medicine.
Thus
the conservation of wild
animals
and
birds
is another method to protect and improve the standard of
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
life. In conclusion, the resources consumed for the protection of wild creatures and
birds
are sufficient, these efforts are like an investment for the preparation of disaster in the future and improve the living standard of citizens.
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay adequality addresses the topic and consists of an introduction and conclusion. However, you should strive to develop each paragraph fully by providing more specific examples to support your main points. This would enhance your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay contains a clear overall progression, with logical structure and coherence between sentences and paragraphs. To improve, work on varying your linking words and organizing your paragraphs around one main idea each. Furthermore, ensure your examples are directly linked to your key arguments, which will provide a clearer line of thought and improve cohesion.

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