IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researchers: private companies, individuals or governments?

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In the reading passage, the author states that
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
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employees
Use synonyms
 the
option
Use synonyms
 of working a four-day workweek would benefit both the economy, the individual companies and the
employees
Use synonyms
 who decided to take the
option
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the listening material totally
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the reading material mentions that the shortened workweek would increase
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
show examples
 profits.
However
Linking Words
, the
listening
Replace the word
listener
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 says that
this
Linking Words
 policy may force the company to spend more money. It's costly to provide work training for these four-day working
employees
Use synonyms
, and the health benefits they need cost the same as
five-days
Fix the agreement mistake
five-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
. What's more, companies will definitely need to build more office space for these
employees
Use synonyms
 and to buy more computers for
workers
Use synonyms
 to use. These will spend a lot more money.
In addition
Linking Words
, the reading passage states that offering
this
Linking Words
option
Use synonyms
 will reduce unemployment rates.
However
Linking Words
, the listening refutes it by pointing out that employers will possibly
asked
Change the verb form
ask
be asked
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
four-days
Correct your spelling
four-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 to work
over time
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
 because hiring new
workers
Use synonyms
 is costly, employers may
also
Linking Words
 raise their expectations for
Use synonyms
four-days
Fix the agreement mistake
four-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 and
expecting
Wrong verb form
expect
show examples
 them to work as the same amount of
five-days
Correct your spelling
five-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the reading points out that the
option
Use synonyms
 of a
four day
Add a hyphen
four-day
show examples
 workweek would be better for individual
employees
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the listening material rejects it by saying that
Use synonyms
four-days
Correct your spelling
four-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 may
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
risk
to choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 condition and ending up reducing their working stability because they have more free time to stay with their family and friends. So that if there is an economic
downturns
Change the noun form
downturn
show examples
, they may lose their jobs easier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because
Correct your spelling
five-day
show examples
five-days
Correct your spelling
five-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 have
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more constant supervision and can spend more time on some working
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
, they will be more likely to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
show examples
 than the
Use synonyms
four-days
Fix the agreement mistake
four-day
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to fully address both the reading and listening materials in your response. Include specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language to express your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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