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Band 4

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
Crime
 is a hot topic of all time and there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been done a lot to solve
crime
-based issues all over the world.
While
 some
people
 believe that enough has been done to prevent
crime
 in the world, I would argue that there is still much to deal with aiming to create a crimeless community. On the one hand, one group of
people
 think that there have been sufficient actions to fight against
crime
. They prove their arguments by stating current declines in the
crime
 rate in different parts of the world. It is evident from statistics being published to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that the
crime
 rate has been lower
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the past decades.
This
 is mostly reasoned by the current measures being used to cut down the number of
crime
 cases. Believing in
such
 data from officials, several individuals consider what has been done
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now to prevent
crime
 is sufficient.
Moreover
, harsher punishments and stricter laws which have been
Wrong verb form
regulated
show examples
regulating
Wrong verb form
regulated
show examples
 for over ten years deterred criminals
to commit
Change preposition
from committing
show examples
 a
crime
, and the number of them has descended.
Therefore
,
this
 case
also
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 many
people
 think these law
enforcements
Fix the agreement mistake
enforcement
show examples
 are working efficiently now.
On the other hand
, there is still much to prevent
crime
, in my opinion. Current measures are not effective enough to find the root of a criminal case. To be more precise, before fighting against
crime
, we should first know what is causing
people
 to break
laws
Correct article usage
the laws
show examples
 of the community. Mainly, it is commonly considered that poverty, illiteracy and lack of education about laws presented
to be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the root reasons why
crime
 is happening in certain areas.
Therefore
, no matter what punishments we set against criminals, I believe that we should work on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social policies, education, and community programs to prevent
crime
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that current ways against
crime
 are not enough to create a
crime
-off society since we still have to worry about
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 of the
crime
.
Submitted by tojirahimov01 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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