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Band 3

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #people
In the century of technological evolution, computers and electronic devices have
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 integrated
in
Change the preposition
into
with
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 our day-to-day activities.
Although
 these devices
was
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were
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 able to simplify our lives greatly some
believes
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believe
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 that their untoward impacts are tremendous.
Therefore
, through
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I shall discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 and if their negatives outweigh their positives. Throughout the
last
 decades, we
were
Wrong verb form
have been
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 able to witness
Correct article usage
a revloution
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revloution
Correct your spelling
revolution
 in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
, which was able to
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 our lives significantly. Nowadays, one can access anything and anywhere in the world with one click
in
Change preposition
on
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 his cellphone or computer.
For Example
; One can buy
flight
Add an article
a flight
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 ticket
or
Correct word choice
apply
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get the most recent news or even buy
that
Correct determiner usage
a
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 product in another country
while
 sitting on his chair.
As a result
, life became way easier and
simplier
Correct your spelling
simpler
 with optimum time management.
However
,
this
marvelous
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marvellous
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 evolution has affected all of us, especially our youth and younger generations, where
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 more
relactunt
Correct your spelling
reluctant
 to search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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data or exert efforts since they can easily access whatever they need from their laptops or Mobiles.
Therefore
, we have
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 number of obese populations. Not only
this
 but
also
, that evolution has affected communication negatively across different members of the society.
Accordingly
, in my opinion, I believe that computers and
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 have simplified our lives
positvely
Correct your spelling
positively
 but their cons outweigh their pros.
Thus
, I would recommend
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 more vigilant in utilizing them based on the relevant need rather than using them just for simplification.
Submitted by passent_abdelaziz on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant specific examples to support your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and supported.
logical structure
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay and ensure that your ideas flow logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Ergonomics
  • Cognitive overload
  • Digital literacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Innovative solutions
  • Remote work
  • Digital divide
  • Technological dependence
  • Moderation
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