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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
#maps #show #centre #town #islip #plans #development
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The
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 layouts illustrate the current situation for the
centre
Use synonyms
 of Islip town and its projected future development plan.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the town will experience a significant transition plan which will play a vital role in turning the town into a vibrant, commercial
city
Use synonyms
 and a
variey
Correct your spelling
variety
 of beneficial
amenties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 for citizens.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, as can be seen, the northern zone is considered the heart
centre
Use synonyms
 of the
city
Use synonyms
, it is pragmatic to expand the space of commercial utilities.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the suburban
along with
Linking Words
 shops will be
instead
Linking Words
 a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
, and people can readily arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
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centre
Use synonyms
,As
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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 station will be
stablished
Correct your spelling
established
 by it from the westnorth zone,
otherwise
Linking Words
 from the eastnorth zone, where the car parking will be immediately by the
centre
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the main road will be replaced and specialized for pedestrians only, to avoid any potential accidents when they
acrossing
Correct your spelling
crossing
across
 to the opposite shops. Turning to the southern area, it is
obvouse
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 is located
at
Change preposition
on
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 the opposite side
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the way,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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new housing will be
sonctructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
 near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the school.
Also
Linking Words
, It is
notewothy
Correct your spelling
noteworthy
 that new housing will be at the junction road
Change preposition
on
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in
Change preposition
on
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northeast
Add an article
the northeast
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 side.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, developing
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
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 carriageway around the
city
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sprawling areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 will play a pivotal role
to organized
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in organizing
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 traffic movements in and out
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
city
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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