Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#women #childcare #men #focus #children #life

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Certainly! I'll be happy to help you with your essay. Here are the corrections: Some argue that females are better at looking after the young than males.

Therefore

mothers

should focus on their housework rather than on their professional lives. I wholeheartedly agree with

this

statement because, when compared with

women

skills

and attitudes, they possess more soft

skills

than men.

Furthermore

, in my opinion, fathers typically have greater physical strength which can be utilized to enhance the family's financial stability.

This

essay will discuss why

mothers

are best suited to guide their children as they grow up. In terms of soft

skills

such

as kindness and patience,

women

are at the forefront, and they are adept at handling babies in any situation.

Moreover

, they possess the mental fortitude to confront difficulties,

such

as staying awake at night with sick or restless infants.

Mothers

excel as the family's natural culinary leaders.

Additionally

, they excel as attentive listeners, patiently addressing the various problems children bring to them and successfully finding solutions. Concerning

women

's career choices, it's true that they may face certain limitations in handling physically demanding jobs and may find their opportunities predominantly in fields like teaching, nursing, and clerical work.

Conversely

, men often exhibit greater physical capacity in the workforce. With hard work, they can climb to higher positions and earn significant income,

thus

helping to alleviate financial challenges at home.

Furthermore

, studies have indicated that historically, men have been oriented towards providing for their families by sourcing food and ensuring protection from dangers,

while

women

have been primary caregivers for their offspring since the early stages of human existence. In conclusion, I believe that the role of caring for children is best suited for

mothers

due to

their abundance of soft

skills

Therefore

, I support the notion that

mothers

should primarily attend to their offspring,

while

fathers take on the responsibility of providing for the family's day-to-day needs.

Submitted by subha.mri on Tue Oct 10 2023

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task response

Ensure that your response directly addresses the given prompt and fully presents the relevant arguments and ideas. Develop a balanced approach that considers both perspectives on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. Continue to use cohesive devices to link ideas and support the overall coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender roles
nurturing
empathy
sensitivity
maternal instinct
paternal involvement
child's development
work-life balance
gender equality

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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Countries should spend money on trains rather than new roads. Do you agree or disagree?

In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.