Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest #arts

It is commonly believed that

art

plays a fundamental role in cultures throughout the world.

Nevertheless

, people nowadays

are thinking

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

that

art

is not worth considering more than science, technology and

business

Correct article usage

the business

show examples

industry. The main reason for

this

is the higher income in those professional careers and a viable solution is to increase funding from the

government

towards arts.

Firstly

, it is well-known that the highest-paid professions are those in science, technology and business. Because of

this

, a lot of individuals are moving towards

this

profession rather than

art

-related fields.

Consequently

, the lack of job markets and low salaries for creative

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

as a career is an

absolute

Change the word

absolutely

show examples

imperative reason behind

this

For example

, a few Indonesian artists eventually make a career change, simply because they need a higher income for living.

However

, there are attainable actions to reduce

this

trend. The main attempt to be mentioned is if the

government

put financial support into

this

aspect. They can sponsor several activities at school to stimulate students from childhood

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because children have more tendency in terms of creative activity.

Furthermore

, the

government

can provide more scholarships to study

art

subjects,

this

could eventually lead many individuals to establish their willingness to study arts above science and other subjects.

To conclude

, it can be stated that careers in sciences, technology and business will always be preferred

due to

the higher wages. But, at the same time, if the

government

takes

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

as I mentioned above, the new generation could be attracted towards the profession of

art

Submitted by keykolubis on Tue Oct 10 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damages does plastic do to the environment? what can be done by the government and individuals to solve this problem?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Is it good for children to start using computers from early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?