IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

WRITE A LETTER TO THE SOCIAL WORKER ,MS JENNIFER ADAMS AT THE COMMUNITY HEALTH NURSE REQUESTING FOLLOW UP CARE.

#worker #ms #jennifer #adams #community #health #nurse #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I am writing to refer Mr.Martin who is suffering from mental
ill
Replace the word
illness
show examples
 and committed
to attempt
Verb problem
apply
show examples
suicide.He requires your urgent attention and care
.now
Correct your spelling
Now
 he is ready to discharge your care. Mr.Martin was admitted on 13 October 2009 following
overdose
Correct article usage
an overdose
show examples
 intake of mogodol.During
hospitalizatin
Correct your spelling
hospitalisation
,he is on steady progress.Currently ,he has depression and
on
Add a missing verb
is on
show examples
 medication.On observation he was physically impaired and presently, he is using
wheelchair
Add an article
a wheelchair
show examples
 for mobility.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 health education on diabetes was provided to manage his condition. Mr.Martin lives with his wife .He is a heavy smoker and a social drinker .He lost a huge amount in gambling and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up in
dept
Correct your spelling
debt
show examples
 which may be the reason for his depression.He is feeling guilty about
suicide
Add an article
a suicide
the suicide
show examples
 attempt .He expresses his desire to overcome his
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
.He has a history of diabetes and
proriasis
Correct your spelling
psoriasis
. kindly provide
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
urgent attention to overcome his depression .Please assist him
to participate
Change preposition
in participating
show examples
 in any gambling
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
 action group and quitline group for smoke cessation .I would highly appreciate it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if you could help him
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
follow up
Add a hyphen
follow-up
show examples
 appointment with
psychologist
Add an article
a psychologist
the psychologist
show examples
 .Encourage him to participate in social sports activities eg.lawn bowls.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: