The given two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010

The given two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two pie charts below show the online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Each pie chart illustrates the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage of online
sales
Use synonyms
in electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
, food and beverage, home furnishings and video games. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pie charts
given
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentages
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
four retail sectors. Online
sales
Use synonyms
of
electronic
Replace the word
electronics
show examples
and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
in 2005 compose nearly
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
(35%), which had dropped
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
a tiny fraction (5%) in 2010. The amount of food and beverage
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
almost 10% in 2010.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
modest twenty
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
(10%) of online
sales
Use synonyms
in home furnishings fell in
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
period, which
constitute
Change the verb form
constitutes
show examples
the most epic fall with
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
proportion in
electronics
Correct article usage
the electronics
show examples
retail sector. Video games have only an insignificant minority
reached from
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
18% to 23% growth despite
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
period.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Add some linking words.
Linking words: Add linking words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail sectors
  • online shopping sales
  • significant growth/decline
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • sales percentages
  • emerged
  • evolution
  • notable
  • constancies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: