With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
people
have consumed more fast
food
and
this
become a major trend in their eating habits. Fast
foods
bring some benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
but have
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
thread
Correct your spelling
threat
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
health
. On the one hand,
time
is the most valuable asset in modern life and fast
foods
help to
people
for saving
time
.
For instance
,
people
spend at least three hours
for prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
meals daily basis but buying
food
from burger shops
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
only fifteen minutes.
This
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
time
and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
that
time
on more important things
such
as
hobies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
or work. Another advantage of these
foods
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
affordable price. After the corona pandemic, the world
faced
Add a missing verb
was faced
show examples
with
food
infilation
Correct your spelling
inflation
and
this
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increases in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
prices especially
meat based
Add a hyphen
meat-based
show examples
protein sources. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
contain too much
carbonhydrate
Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
rather than protein
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
keep
Change the form of the verb
keeping
show examples
the prices low. So, the
people
still can afford
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
of
foods
.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
have a potential danger
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
health
and these disadvantages outweigh the benefits.
Firstly
, they contain too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
calories which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
obesity and diabetes with over consuming.
Secondly
, lots of
additive
Fix the agreement mistake
additives
show examples
and
preservative
Fix the agreement mistake
preservatives
show examples
added
Add a missing verb
are added
show examples
to
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
foods
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
protect them through to supply chain.
Furthermore
, these chemicals cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cancer in the long term with accumulation in the
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
cells.
Lastly
, these companies' main focus
is deliver
Change the verb form
is to deliver
show examples
the
foods
fastly
Correct your spelling
fast
show examples
and cheap which brings
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hygen
Correct your spelling
hygiene
.
Also
, workers are in these restaurants not qualified enough to work with the
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
conditions lead to
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
show examples
foods
that can poison
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
restaurants serve
foods
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
time
but when we look from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
health
perspective, they are harmful to the human body in different aspects. Those
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
are not minor and governments should find a solution.
Otherwise
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
health
can
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
seriously.
Submitted by airbender on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt in your response. This includes discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of consuming fast foods.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to your grammar and sentence structures to ensure accuracy and clarity.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: