In coutries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

While

Linking Words

access to

education

Use synonyms

should be universal and affordable, the reality is that it is often out of reach for many. High unemployment in some countries or regions may even make some feel that it is a waste of time.

While

Linking Words

situations and circumstances may vary, in general, we should do our part to make sure that as many

people

Use synonyms

finish high school and university as possible.

First,

Linking Words

we must consider the economics of a proper

education

Use synonyms

. With limited

education

Use synonyms

, one can perhaps find odd jobs at an earlier age, but their long-term income and opportunities will be limited. Compare that with someone who completes school.

While

Linking Words

graduates may have trouble finding work at

first,

Linking Words

once they do, they have a better chance of keeping their jobs and earning more in the future and

thus

Linking Words

have a better quality of life.

Secondly

Linking Words

, educated

people

Use synonyms

do a lot to create jobs. Most entrepreneurs and businessmen,

people

Use synonyms

who create employment, themselves receive an

education

Use synonyms

. These are the

people

Use synonyms

who create growth and opportunity in society;

conversely

Linking Words

, those without

education

Use synonyms

can only struggle to look after themselves. Some would say that by not investing in secondary

education

Use synonyms

when the outlook is bad, governments can save money.

This

Linking Words

may be true in the short term but it leaves the long-term problem of an undereducated and underdeveloped society. Surely

this

Linking Words

is not a responsible solution. In the final analysis, it often takes short-term sacrifice and investment to achieve long-term prosperity. Governments must not take shortcuts when it comes to ensuring everyone receives a proper secondary

education

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is the surest way to create a better future for everyone.

ielts_winner Tue Oct 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the question. Well done!

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present and the main points are supported throughout the essay.

task achievement

You have provided relevant specific examples to support your arguments. Good job!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

fostering
irrespective
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
innovation
dynamic workforce
vocational training
technical skills
entrepreneurship
preventative measure
engaged citizenry
economic development
societal advancement
empower
pathway to employment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they cannot fit into their peers’ groups and have no one to look after them when they get old.
6
band
Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?
In recent times, maintaining a healthy balanced diet has been difficult for many due to two main reasons. Firstly, people are indulged in a busy lifestyle; and secondly, budget restrictions have made it easier for people to pivot towards fast foods. This negative development can be solved by increasing the prices of processed foods and by reducing the prices of organic fruits and vegetables, in addition to educating the population.
6.5
band
Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The inclusion of art in the school curriculum is a topic of considerable debate. Some argue that art is a vital part of a child's education, while others believe it is a waste of time and resources. This essay will examine both perspectives and present my opinion.
<4
band
Some people believe that governments should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing traffic problems by using public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Traffic congestion and air pollution are the biggest problems facing every country across the world, particularly in their large cities. Some people say that the government should invest more in improving public transportation systems to reduce these problems while others assume that individuals also should take responsibility for these circumstances. Both sides will be discussed below along with my point of view.
<4
band
The pie charrs show a range or areas that people in Japan and Malaysia spend a money a year
The pie charts compare the expenditure of household in Japan and Malaysia in terms of five different categories.

In coutries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The pie charrs show a range or areas that people in Japan and Malaysia spend a money a year