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Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The charts provide information about how many
people
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
cities
Change preposition
in cities
show examples
,
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
, and rural
areas
 divided by who
born
Add a missing verb
was born
show examples
 in
Australia
 and outside
Australia
 from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 an upward trend for
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
cities
, at the same time
many
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
people
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
 born in
Australia
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in towns and rural
areas
 than
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside.
However
, the number of
people
 who
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in towns and rural
areas
 was the biggest. In 1995, the number of
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
 and
born
Correct pronoun usage
those born
show examples
 outside
Australia
life
Replace the word
lived
show examples
 in
cities
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was about 50 and 60 per cent respectively. Many
people
 who live in rural
areas
 and
cities
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come from outside
Australia
.
People
 who
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in town and rural
areas
 have decreased in 2010.
Following
this
 year
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
 in
cities
 have increased
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 15 per cent for
people
 born in
Australia
 and 20 per cent for
people
 born outside
Australia
.
However
, the number of
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
 and
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in Towns and rural
areas
 was the largest.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, life, cities, areas, australia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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