Some people believe that they should need all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

In the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
,
children
are facing many problems ,
such
as academic, commercial and others.
This
essay intends to discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
pressure and suggest some measures to alleviate
this
issue. There are
pressures
on
children
, which are related
academic
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to academic
show examples
issues.
For example
, their
parents
want their
children
to excel in every field. That's why , they have to do a
lot
of tasks.If they are not the best pupil,their
parents
will punish them and
this
is why, they have a
lot
of academic
pressures
Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
show examples
. They have a
lot
of lessons and
also
there are private
tuitions
Fix the agreement mistake
tuition
show examples
after school and
this
causes a
lot
of stress and problems related to their health. There are
also
social and commercial
pressures
.They want to know all things all over the world.
For example
, they want to adopt different cultures,
different
Correct word choice
and different
show examples
languages and
this
changes their outlooks.Because of
adopted
Wrong verb form
adopting
show examples
other cultures, they forget their tradition and they may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not respect their
parents
or other people .
Secondly
,their commercial problem is very noticeable.
For example
,if their peers wear expensive clothes, they want to wear
this
kind of
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes
show examples
and their
parents
don't buy them ,they will face pressure. Despite
this
,it is possible
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to find
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
.
Firstly
,
parents
have to be patient and teachers haven't to give more homework than they can do .
Children
's more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
spend
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in school, so the biggest onus on the school and teachers.
Secondly
,
parents
have to help their
children
to choose friends,because if their friends are not disciplined,
this
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
.
To conclude
,it has been reiterated that there are academic,social and commercial
pressures
among today's
children
.
This
essay suggested some solutions to
this
.If
this
is not stopped ,
this
will be
disaster
Add an article
a disaster
show examples
,but it is not at
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
bad level and it is possible
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to prevent it.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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task achievement
The essay should focus on whether people should pay taxes to the state or not, rather than discussing the pressures faced by children.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include these sections in your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay. Make sure your ideas flow logically and are well-organized.
grammatical range accuracy
Use proper punctuation and grammar to improve the clarity and readability of your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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