IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

#students #year #university #gap #idea
It is evident that more and more
students
 decide to take a
gap
year
 before going to university. There are some disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking a
gap
year
,
however
, I believe that it may be beneficial to
students
overall
. On the one hand,
students
 who take a
gap
year
 may experience some drawbacks.
Firstly
, many
students
 choose to travel around during the
gap
year
, they may spend
extra
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 money than usual.
Secondly
, if
students
 don’t set goals for the
gap
year
,
this
 period of time
wouldn’t
Correct your spelling
won’t
 help them improve themselves.
For instance
, if a student goes to America without any plan to learn or experience, it will be an expensive and meaningless
year
 for him or her.
Finally
,
students
 may realize that their learning skills retrograde after taking a
gap
year
, making them
hard
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to catch up when going to university.
On the other hand
, taking a
gap
year
 can be
worthy
Replace the word
worthwhile
show examples
 for
students
.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
year
,
students
 can focus on getting
along with
 themselves rather than putting all
efforts
Correct pronoun usage
their efforts
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 academic accomplishments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have better self-awareness.
Also
,
this
 period of time can be utilized to learn different abilities,
such
 as speaking foreign languages, taking short-term courses or jobs, expanding their network, and building new personal perspectives.
As a result
, these experiences provide high value for
gap
-
year
-takers and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 them more competitive than others when securing a job.
For example
, a student who has experience taking related courses and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to speak foreign languages fluently and even has his or her own thoughts would be preferred by outstanding companies. In conclusion, I believe that if
students
 can arrange their
gap
year
 appropriately, taking a
gap
year
 is beneficial to them.
Submitted by anna85796 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Add more transitional phrases and logical connectors to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary, particularly in expressing advantages and disadvantages.
grammatical range accuracy
Ensure consistent and accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: